Not all those who wander are lost.

Reflecting on Year Two.

2010-06-13T22:53:00.003-04:00

Yet another school year has come and gone and it is just getting better and better. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am now doing what I was meant to do. The year had its highs and lows, but my students made it possible for me to leave happy every single day. Their sweet faces glowing with wonder and excitement about their learning gave me so much hope for the future -- theirs, mine, and ours. My co-teacher was amazing and we couldn't have done it without each other. It took me awhile to allow myself some of the credit for what the kids were accomplishing but in retrospect I realize how central I was in their learning. Duh, right!?

Of all the end-of-the-year gifts, the most priceless came from one of my students and his parents. The student made me the most intricate and thoughtful paper bag puppet (something I'd taught him to do days earlier). He asked me my favorite animal and I said "Well, I have lots: cats, dogs, birds, horses, and blowfish". He looked overwhelmed. He was going to try and remember them all. Well, he sure did because my paper bag puppet was a cat/dog/bird/horse/blowfish hybrid, with obvious detail for every species. He had gone home and worked for hours. The puppet is at my mom's house but I will post a picture soon :) Below is the second gift, from his father. I've taken out names for privacy purposes. He sent a letter to my principal and copied me on it.

(For the record, it mentions that I may not return to my school next year. The deal is this: I am the lowest man on the totem pole, so to speak, so if a certain number of kindergartners do not register and show up by Day Five of school in the fall, then my "unit" will be cut. I will indeed have to leave my school, which I really don't want to do. But the one upside is that I am now a permanent employee in the county, and I will be placed in a pool, where I can pick up another job opening at another school. So while my future lies in wait for now, I am guaranteed a teaching position in the fall and am more than willing to go with that flow :)

Mrs. Principal,
My name is D.G. and my son E.G. has just completed his first year at Lanier. It has been a wonderful year and I thoroughly enjoyed watching my son make great strides academically and socially. He started out the year a shy unsure boy and has now found a sense of confidence and pride in himself. The reason that i have taken the time to relay this to you is because I contribute this to his two wonderful teachers Mrs. G. and Ms. Cook. My son loved his kindergarten teacher, Mrs. G. right off the bat, and she worked really well with him. then shortly after he spoke of a new teacher, Ms. Cook and since then that has been the focus of his daily reports. With the introduction of Ms. Cook to his class, I notice that my son was truly starting to flourish. His teachers show interest in not only his school work, but his fascination with art and even his Garbage Pail Kids collection. It is those little things that define a teacher. We are a very close family and our son is our life. We are very skeptical of the people in his life. These two wonderful teachers put all of our nerves at ease and have built a sense of trust with our family. At the PTA meeting, when they ended the performance by singing you are my sunshine to the kids, it almost moved us to tears. To know that they do this every afternoon showed how much they truly love their children, my child.
It has recently come to my attention that Ms. Cook may not be back next year. I believe that would be a great injustice and loss for your school. She is a great teacher and has a way of getting through to her children. My wife and I know that we do not have any bearing on whether she stays or goes. I myself work in a seniority based job, and understand the circumstances. However, we believe that if we didn't at least try and let you know what a loss she would be, that we wouldn't be able to live with ourselves. With more teachers like Ms. Cook, who actually care for the children she teaches, I believe that A+ standards could be met. I hope that all is being done to retain her at Lanier. I appreciate the time that you have taken to read this letter, and thank you for giving my son a super year.

Thank you,
D and C G.

**Ok back to Pea here. While I love this student to death and am so proud to have been his teacher, I feel I can take little credit. This boy is so amazing: I couldn't teach him as fast as he was learning. He devoured all sorts of knowledge, especially books, and I felt he was always one step in front of me. He is going into first grade reading at a beginning third-grade reading level. How awesome is that!!

Until next time
Much love,
Pea

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-10-18T18:36:00.004-04:00

This was an all-around perfect weekend. The weather was beautiful -- we woke up to rain on Friday morning which helped with sleeping in on my last lazy weekday for a while. The rains were followed by wonderfully cool weather, clear blue skies, and a strong and lovely wind. We walked into Ybor on Saturday afternoon to see Where the Wild Things Are. This is one of my favorite children's books, and therefore I would normally not be that excited to see the movie because movies based on children's books tend to disappoint me. But something was telling me that I should see this one. And it was definitely one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. It is an amazing take on a seemingly simple book, and whoever wrote this screenplay completely *got* this book in the same way I did. It also brought a lot of clarity to some of my biggest questions about life. I know, right?!! So yeah, I recommend it and I highly suggest seeing it! Let me know what you think..

In other news, I took the girls to my new school today, just to let them run around while no one was there, and so that they could see where I would be teaching :). Well, we were able to walk right up to my classroom windows, and I saw a message on the whiteboard: "Welcome Ms. Cook!"...boy did that really get the message home that this is really happening! So after yet another awesome day, I just had a hearty warm meal and am planning on taking a bath and closing my eyes by 9pm. Tomorrow is Day One of the rest of my life as a teacher!!

Much love,

Pea

Annnnnnd

2009-10-14T20:52:00.002-04:00

I got the job!!!!! This is just about the best news of my entire life! This means many things:

1) I will be teaching.

2) I will be teaching Kindergarten.

3) I will be a permanent employee for Hillsborough County.

4) I will be co-teaching only 21 students.

Well, teaching is what I was born to do. Teaching kindergarten is what I always dreamed of doing. And being a permanent employee (instead of temporary like last year), no one can ever take my job away from me again. Talk about job security.

The co-teaching thing means that another teacher and I are both in one classroom with one class (21 students is VERY small for a traditional co-teach classroom). The other teacher, Erin, and I can pretty much design our own co-teach model, whether we take turns teaching each day/week or split up subjects, etc. The beauty of it is that every single struggling student can have the extra attention they need, at the very start of their school experience. And ME as one of those two teachers? What lucky ducks my students are!

It is so hard to leave my nannying family -- I've grown to truly love all of them including the other nanny. And while they are pretty upset that I have to leave, they are nothing but supportive and celebratory of this opportunity I've been given. Tomorrow is my last day :( But I will be teaching again -- and forevermore -- starting this Friday!

Prayers are answered at every moment. Life is beautiful. I have so much and I make it my mission to give it all back tenfold. These students are the start.

Much love,
Jamie Pea

Brief update

2009-09-30T11:17:00.003-04:00

Ok I will NOT be late for work again today. But I needed to post to say that Life is Good. Awesome, really. It is probably 75 degrees outside today, and while the "cold front" will only last through the weekend, it is quite a blessing. I spent the morning on the patio sipping hazelnut coffee and nibbling on homemade honey-butter crescent rolls while reading Don Miguel Ruiz. Something feels full-circle about this morning and I love it.

I have an interview for a kindergarten position on Friday morning and I feel that a) this is my last opportunity for a teaching job this school year, and b) this is my job. I really feel it.

I have lots of pictures uploaded on my computer and ready to post, so get ready! To come: a post about my newest family members (of 6 months now, yes I am a total cyber-slacker), my trip to Charleston/Raleigh, and my sweet babies I am nannying for.

Much love,
Pea

I'm Hiking For Hospice

2009-09-09T19:17:00.001-04:00

Dear friends and fellow bloggers,
On November 8th I am participating in a hike to support Gulfside Regional Hospice. This is the first fundraising hike I've participated in and raised money for. Please help support me, even if it is with just $1!

http://www.firstgiving.com/pea

Much love,
Pea

Still amongst the living...

2009-09-08T23:17:00.002-04:00

I cannot believe that I have been disconnected from my beloved blog for over half of a year. My life has twisted and turned in innumerable directions, with ups and downs of mechanical accuracy, and I find myself still moving forward, with a strong will and an even stronger heart.

To sum up "the whole teaching thing": I had the most fantastic and horrifying experience teaching 16 children from the Projects. Nothing can prepare anyone for teaching at all, and add in the additional fact that you are teaching children who, for the most part, have had ZERO positive adult role models -- aside from, if they were extremely lucky, their kindergarten teachers. Not only were my students criminally behind academically, but many were socially inept and emotionally damaged. Many had seen things in their lives that we all should hope never to see. One precious little girl lived in filth and was a selective mute -- she said no more than 5 words per day, and only to me. A little boy's grandmother, who was raising him, met with me about his behavior problems and confessed that she fears she may actually kill him as a result of his behavior at home. Not only did I bust my butt to teach my sweet students to read, but I spent countless hours working on getting counseling for said grandparent and a donation of a new bed so that my silent student wouldn't have to sleep on a bug-ridden, urine-soaked mattress for one more night. The experience exhausted me in every sense of the word, but also taught me everything I thought I knew but apparently never did about Life. I am so completely changed and my only regret is not blogging about it for e. But alas, that Life did not allow time for blogging. My only time for true reflection was on the sake of preserving it for later reflection. My only chance for reflection was on the way to and from work and during my prayers. Otherwise, I was working, eating, and/or sleeping. I dreamt about my students every night for 5 months straight.

At the end of the year, my position was, unfortunately, no longer available because I was a temporary employee in the county. The principal offered me a third grade position that iI didn't feel prepared to handle after what I'd gone through in first grade at the school. In fact, there is not a single primary teacher (K-2) in the school that feels up to teaching intermediate grades (3-5). I politely and respectfully declined the offer and kept my eyes open for other positions. Well, this particular principal, who I am comfortable calling an egomaniac, didn't take it lightly that I "shot him down". When it came time for my interviewers to call my reference, he never forgot to mention that I shot him down -- in his words, it "didn't look good" to other principals. So with that, along with the recession causing teachers with WAY more experience than me to be applying for the same jobs as me, I was left jobless this school year. (The ironic conclusion about that principal? The school was the lowest-performing elementary school in the county, no doubt largely due to his less-than-stellar relationship with faculty and students, and he was conveniently "promoted" to a position in which he will never directly work with students again.)

So did I cower in a corner and cry about my unemployment? Nope! I explored other options as a backup and was blessed to find an amazing job as a nanny to an awesome family. So while I am still keeping my eye on the prize and hoping for the right teaching job to open up, I am in the meantime spending my days with Seth, a 3-year-old boy's boy, and Arielle and Alyssa, the sweetest, roundest, hairiest 6-month-old twin angel girls. I am also graced with the presence of another full-time nanny named Susan. We get along so well and it is a wonderful bonus to have another adult around to give you a reprieve and more importantly to converse with during the day! So while my dream of teaching is taking a little detour, I am happy and content with my current situation and I have the ultimate faith that this is all in God's Plan for me. I can't wait to see how this all pans out!

Thank you to anyone who may actually still have faith that I would return -- much more to come in the near future: love stories, kitty adventures, and of course the return of Gabby and Ava!

Much love,
Pea

merrily rolling along.

2009-01-26T21:47:00.003-05:00

I went through processing at the school district today. it was daunting and nerve-wracking, but 2.5 hours later, I was officially given the green light to start teaching AND get paid. putting those two factors together is a foreign and awesome concept for me.

wrapping things up at the sierra club is tough. it feels weird to be packing up shop after 2 years of hard work and great friendships. olivia and i are moping around being sad but also promising to stay friends. mary is totally going to miss me but she is showing it through frustration and taking it out on me. it makes me love her more. no one could ask for better bosses.

i have been somewhat maniacally gathering little goodies for my students. i already bought them the coolest valentines ever (2 words: Fun Dip). i just cannot wait to meet them!!!

there aren't words to explain what is happening in my heart and in my life right now. i am fighting for all of the things that are most important to me -- and i am winning. i am so blessed with a healthy brain and a strong heart, an incredible family and inspiring friendships, and last but not least hilarious and loving pets that remind me to let go and laugh at least 47 times a day. lucky, lucky me. :)

A letter to my first graders

2009-01-21T00:19:00.005-05:00

Dear boys and girls,
You don't know me yet, but my name is Miss Pea and in two weeks I am going to be your first grade teacher. Even though I am not your first teacher -- heck, I'm not even your first FIRST grade teacher -- you are my First Students. This is a big deal in my world, and not something I take lightly. I am scared, much like you all may have been one year ago upon entering your first day of kindergarten. What a RESPONSIBILITY you undertook, and I will undertake. But I am so excited and happy to become a part of your world, and I have full faith that my placement as your teacher has a great purpose.

I love you all already. I will be there for you, making school fun and fascinating. I will be there to confide in, to comfort, to reassure on days when all seems to go wrong. I will be fair and equal, open and honest. I will keep you safe and secure while you are in my classroom, and I will instill in you the importance (and the rewards) of being a responsible citizen, in the classroom community and beyond. Be equally assured that we will sing and dance and be goofy on many occasions, all the while accomplishing our main mission of Learning.

My job may be the easy one. You will have to work harder than ever before. You will learn to read and to be a friend. You will learn to add and to work cooperatively. You will learn the parts of a flower and how to embrace diversity. You will learn the pledge of allegiance and how to use your indoor voices. You will be part of a family full of unique individuals who have come together to achieve common goals, both academically and socially. You will be part of a classroom democracy in which you will be given the right to help make the rules, but you will also be solely responsible for upholding them for yourself. You will work hard, it's true. But you will succeed and you will have had a great time along the way.

Above all, we must remember that no one is perfect and mistakes will be made. Someone wise told me that "Every mistake is a rebirth", and what that should mean to you is that mistakes teach us valuable lessons, if we are willing to forgive ourselves quickly enough. So when it happens, remember to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try try again. (Did I mention I will help you up and assist in the dusting if you need me? Just checkin'.)

I know that we will be a great team. You can help me from the very start by reminding me that, just as you got through that first day of kindergarten -- just breathe Miss Pea -- so will I get through my First Day. And the rest is a breeze so long as we all remember why we are here and what we are capable of, each and every one of you, and myself.

Sincerely,
Your teacher Miss Pea.

Introducing Miss Pea

2009-01-20T10:11:00.002-05:00

I got a teaching job!!!!!!!

It isn't the one I last mentioned, which occurred on the same day as my wisdom teeth extraction. It is actually the one I interviewed for before THANKSGIVING, that I wanted so badly and was so disappointed to have never heard back about. God works in mysterious ways, and after two months of hearing nothing, the principal of the school called on the very day of this other interview, during my surgery. Since then, I have gone through two more interviews and was offered a teaching position on Sunday!

I will be teaching first grade which is my absolute dream! I don't want to give any specific info about the school here, but it is a mile from my house which is just another HUGE bonus. I start February 2nd and I cannot WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I am having the slowest recovery ever from my wisdom tooth surgery. I am STILL in pain almost two weeks later. But it is getting somewhat better and the doctor says it is healing up nicely so I am grateful for that.

Friday

2009-01-07T12:10:00.003-05:00

I have another interview on Friday: 5th grade at a school a couple miles from my parents' house.

3 hours after my interview time, I will be getting all of my wisdom teeth extracted :(

Please pray for me!!

Graduation

2009-01-05T16:28:00.004-05:00

So graduation was so awesome. The process was boring and similar to all other graduations, but I loved that Jessica and I were the only two people in the entire place who went through our program. I loved that my entire family was there to cheer me on for the first time in all of my graduations. I loved that Lisa and Camica drove all the way to Indian Rocks to pick me out in a crowd before heading out again. I loved what it all meant symbolically. I am totally, officially, enthusiastically, and preparedly a teacher.

Gettin ready

Brov: Official Stuff Holder

Me and my bro in law

Me and Daddy

Did we almost get thrown out for being rowdy?

The two grads

Camica, me, Lisa

My Sweet Fam

Moma and Daddy

Me and Jessica, Teacher Supremes

Introducing my horse (sorta)

2008-12-22T14:34:00.003-05:00

As of today, I am officially leasing a horse! He is a beautiful 12-year-old mustang named Apache. His coloring is cremello but most people would probably call him white, so don't worry about the fancy terms. Most cremello's, unlike whites, have blue eyes. He is a heartthrob -- reminds me of Paul Newman :)
I am leasing him from a girl who is getting ready to go to college. I'll be riding him a couple times a week, more hopefully when I start teaching. He lives at a beautiful 40-acre barn out in the country, with an indoor ring, outdoor dressage ring, and a 4-acre jump course. I can't wait to start retraining myself on Apache. This is going to be a great outlet for me to escape, be outdoors, and be with horses. I am so excited!

(Doesn't he look like a unicorn in this last one??? :))

Updates

2008-12-19T12:30:00.002-05:00

1) The trip to Cali was awesome in every way possible! I will post pictures, probably next week.

2) Graduation is tomorrow, I am indeed walking and the ceremony is at 10am. No one else besides me and Jess (which means the other 6 graduates from ourt program -- you wouldn't believe how many people didn't make it through!), but we are proud of our accomplishments and my family has never been able to all make it to a graduation so this is really special to me. We're all going out to lunch and then my friends and I are going to dinner to celebrate tomorrow night. What a day!

3) On Sunday I am volunteering with Metropolitan Ministries to feed 1,000 homeless, then I will be babysitting for a new family on into the evening. They seem really nice and have a 9-year-old boy so it should be a fun time.

4) I work Monday and Tuesday (both bosses will be already on vacation though) and then I have off from Wednesday through January 5th! I am so excited! Christmas with my family is sure to be as wonderful as always. I can't wait :)

5) On the 27th, I head to NC with GABBY (I love road trips with her, unfortunately Ava will have to stay with Grandma). We will be spending MUCH-needed time with Kene and Duht, two of my BFF's that happened to get married! I will be there through the 2nd at least, if not longer. I will also take a day trip from Charlotte to Winston-Salem to see my grandparents and extended family. This is another long-overdue visit and I can't wait to spend time with my Granddad especially. He is so special and super-cute. Picture an 80-year-old cowboy with a heart of gold. That's my granddad. He thinks this idea of a visit is fine AND dandy!

6) I am keeping an eye out for teaching jobs, but nothing has shown itself yet. I am praying a LOT about this!

7) I am getting back into horseback riding, and am juggling a few options right now. I have been trying to do this for a while. The problem is, I ride English saddle and most barns around here only offer Western. Plus, everything is SO far out in the country. But now that school is over, I am willing to make a drive for the right barn. More on that to come.

This is probably the longest post in a while, and I'm sure there is a lot more going on that I haven't mentioned, but I'll leave it at this. I am doing really well, moving forward and pursuing the things that make me truly happy.

I hope anyone reading this has a fantastic holiday!!

Greetings from beautiful Yosemite!

2008-12-07T12:18:00.002-05:00

Right now I am writing from our lodge on the edge of Yosemite National Park. It's 9am and we're drinking hot chocolate while waiting for one of our friends to finish a conference call. Then it's exploration exploration exploration!!!

Pictures to come..

deck the house 2008

2008-12-03T14:00:00.003-05:00

i'm really really really trying.

2008-12-01T07:25:00.002-05:00

giving thanks - the short list

2008-11-27T19:00:00.000-05:00

[in alphabetical order so as not to confuse the issue]

alternative teaching programs
blogs (only those I read/write)
books that linger on my mind
broken pieces of ceramic in my yard
bubble tea
children's choirs
ever-inspiring rewards of teaching
faith
feel-good music
giggles
girlfriends who are always by my side even when they're not
hard life lessons learned
health insurance
hope
ireland
a menial job that makes dreams come true
my church
my comforting brov
my considerate godmother
my country
my cozy bungalow
my cuddly ava
my devoted gabby
my encouraging sees
my faithful mom
my relaxing fish
my reliable dad
opportunities to serve others
perspective my neighborhood gives me
prayer
purified water
sacrifice
snooze buttons
tinwhistles
tears
tofu
yankee candles

a friday in photos

2008-11-26T15:28:00.004-05:00

.fin.

Theme for the Season (and life in general)

2008-11-25T10:52:00.005-05:00

2 Corinthians 9:10-11 ~ “Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.”

2 Corinthians 8:7, 13-14 ~ “But just as you excel in everything — in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love — see that you also excel in this grace of giving ... At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality.”

Acts 20:35 ~ “The Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

Weekend Treasures

2008-11-24T12:00:00.004-05:00

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~ Thornton Wilder

(bubble tea)

(best friend/phone twin)

Dogs

2008-11-24T11:55:00.005-05:00

Ok, the pug is cute here! But I am still not otherwise crazy about it.

COLLEGE = ...

2008-11-19T10:10:00.002-05:00

From my journal: 12/16/2002

2008-11-16T16:25:00.004-05:00

"Life takes its toll on romantics. I won't have any part of that."

FOUR DAYS.

WOOHOO!!!

2008-11-14T12:35:00.013-05:00

I had my last observation EVER today and I rocked it!! I gave a lesson comparing and contrasting Lincoln and Kennedy with the group of girls that are much further below grade level. I had some big behavior problems (probably because there was a sub there today) that I didn't know totally how to deal with, but I wasn't afraid to get angry and threatening after several (5-6) "Quiet please, Jane"'s. And it worked! As my supervisor pointed out, it's hard to come into a class that already has behavior plans set up by another teacher and be able to immediately take over without knowing those rules, expectations, and consequences. So I may have done the best for what I was dealing with.

Anyway, I got great scores and I got my overall scores for the entire Practicum, which were really shockingly high. She said I'm ready. I can't believe it. I am ready.

Next comes this:

Then this:

And finally, a cross between this:

And this:

Sneaky!

2008-11-13T21:51:00.000-05:00

This post features Kuzco, formerly Angus (also lovingly nicknamed Hamburger by my old roomie), one of my prized kittens. He is now my roommate's cat, but I would secretly love for her to abandon him when she moves out someday because he is the BEST. CAT. EVER. Ok, Fish is by default, but you only have to meet this kitten to understand how fabulous he is.

One thing he does that is so adorable but also drives me crazy is stealing my hair ties. I had bought a ton of hair ties that break too easily, so I saved them all for him. I would put one on my counter while I took a shower. He would come get it and continue to bat it around until it disappeared underneath the piano. Well they are now all gone and I think it will be hilarious when I move the piano someday and find at least 50 hair ties under there.

So now that he doesn't have any freebies, he always tries to steal the two I actually use! I am a freak about my hair ties: I always have two on my wrist and they are precious possessions of mine until they ultimately break and I pick new favorites. So I began hiding my hair ties in a little open box I have sitting on my counter. I keep my toothbrush and all other tooth accessories in this box so I would put the hair ties underneath all this stuff. Well it certainly didn't take the kitten long to find them under there. They were no longer safe here.

I have switched to keeping them in a little round box with a lid. This also sits on my counter and I keep my Q-Tips in it. Lo and behold, the cat is a genius. Observe:

The best part about the last photo is that he accidentally picked up a Q-Tip with the hair tie and it is dangling from his mouth too, but you can’t see it. That white box in the background is my aforementioned tooth-paraphernalia box.

Things I'm Grateful for (even though I'm sick) Today

2008-11-11T10:56:00.009-05:00

My oh-so-green back door.

Fall weather so beautiful that the door stays open.

All day long.

Puppies sunning themselves in a DIY sandbox.

REAL honest-to-goodness oatmeal.

To warm my throat, belly, and heart.

"Ava update" and "Why I teach"

2008-11-07T11:53:00.002-05:00

1) I took Ava to the vet yesterday afternoon because her eye was bleeding! I took Fish with us because he needed his yearly stuff anyway. My vet is my favorite in the world (after Abby Huggins, who is the vet dreams are made of, but abandoned us in Baltimore to move to Atlanta and I almost followed her there). ANYWAY, he said it looks like the eye is healing and the blood is just a new blood vessel trying to form. So she isn't blind, she is going to be fine, and the only BAD news is that a) I have to put antibiotic ointment ON HER EYE three times a day (I have major issues with touching eyes, etc.), and b) Fish gained a pound while on his diet/exercise regime. The vet said I should throw in the towel and just let him live a fat but happy life.

2) I walked into the classroom this morning to a wall of hugs and "Hi Miss Pancake"'s. The a little girl, Emily, said to me, "I'm going to call you Miss Sunshine because you're always happy." I thought, wow, if I come across as always happy, especially in the last 3 weeks, this must be absolutely the right place for me. Being with them is certainly the highlight of my week, and I'm glad it shows and that I have sweet little people to remind me of it.

2008-11-04T09:44:00.002-05:00

"Time is clearly not our natural dimension. Thus it is that we are never really at home in time. Alternately, we find ourselves wishing to hasten the passage of time or to hold back the dawn. We can do neither, of course, but whereas the fish is at home in the water, we are clearly not at home in time--because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers to us that we are strangers here." ~ Neil A. Maxwell

Fare thee well.

2008-11-01T13:22:00.006-04:00

Yesterday was a sad day. So I cleaned my entire house and yard while the roomie and her stinky pug are out of town. Totally therapeutic for me. I was listening to ITunes on shuffle, and as I was about to step in the shower I heard the faint traces of a favorite song in the background. It was amazing because I have loved this song since I first heard it eight years ago. The lyrics were so beautiful, but I never understood them. I tried to, even journaled about it, but could never quite get there. As I showered, the lyrics came flooding back to me in their entirety. I sang them, and it was so perfectly sad, or sadly perfect, how clearly I understand now. Like it was written for me, for now. And then I cried. Wept, in fact.

Fare Thee Well
Indigo Girls

Fare thee well my bright star
I watched your tail lights blaze into nothingness
But you were long gone before I ever got to you
Before you blazed past this address
And now I think of having loved and having lost
You'll never know what it's like to never love
And who can say what's better and my heart's become the cost
A mere token of a brighter jewel sent from above.

Fare thee well my bright star
The vanity of youth, the color of your eyes
And maybe if I'd fanned the blazing fire of your day-to-day
Or if I'd been older, I'd been wise
Too thick the heat of those long summer evenings
For a cool evening I began to yearn
But you could only feed upon the things which feed a fire
Waiting to see if I would burn.

Fare thee well my bright star
It was a brief, brilliant miracle dive
And that which I looked up to and I clung to for dear life
Had to burn itself up just to make itself alive
And I caught you then in your moment of glory
Your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage
With a memory so clear that it's as if you're still before me
My once in a lifetime star of an age.

Fare thee well my bright star
Last night the tongues of fire circled me around
And this strange season of pain will come to pass
When the healing hands of autumn cool me down.

Poor Baby Ava

2008-10-29T08:27:00.001-04:00

I am sad to admit that this is the second post with this title. The poor thing is always in some sort of trouble that isn't really her fault! Last time, she had her leg torn open by a giant thorn while playing in her yard. This time, my roommate's dog is to blame. I didn't see it happen, but both my roomie and I are pretty sure Lilo did it because a) she is entirely too hyper and rough when playing with my much larger but socially acceptable dogs; and b) now, whenever Ava sees Lilo, her eyes flinch. I'm not even kidding.

In case my roommate reads this, my disclaimer is that I love the roomie very much! She is wonderful! But I may have referred to her dog as "Satan's Spawn In Pug Form" in a couple of emails. Oops!

SSIPF:

So basically, the pug scratched Ava's eye (with what? A tooth? A nail? No idea). She could hardly open it last night and it looked so gross when pried open -- super red, swollen, cloudy. This morning it was crusted shut and she wouldn't even leave my bed for her morning romp with the pups. But by the time I left, she was at least opening it again, so I think it will be fine without me rushing to the vet. There is one noticeable thing: where the cloudiness was, there is now a pronounced hole/dent in her eye. She can still see out of it, though, I'm pretty sure.

Sympathy Photos
Last night

This morning

Other photos for photos' sake
My beautiful ladies, Gabby and Ava

Ava being embarrassed by her nasty-eye (she put her head like this in 6 pictures in a row)
The boys -- note that the 7 month old Angus kitten (now named Kuzco) is catching up in size to Fat Fish.

My 3 bundles of fur/joy

Retrospection

2008-10-24T18:37:00.000-04:00

While trying to come to terms with the wild emotions coursing through my veins this week -- I in fact may be able to call this the hardest week of my life -- I read my old blog (http://thelonelypeople.livejournal.com) and thought this post was worth reposting.

September 20, 2006

I Wax and Wane

I've been having the wildest stream of thoughts and feelings lately. I feel like I'm outwardly observing the interaction between my self and my environment. I'm realizing that while both affect eachother, they are completely independent from one another in fundamental ways. This realization has given me the freedom to accept myself as an unconventional being that will not be forced to fit nicely into anything. There are things I like fitting nicely into: compact cars, a pint of Guinness, someone's arms. Sometimes I don't like fitting, though, and I think I'm ok with that. Sometimes I'm not cozy, not comfortable, and it just adds perspective. Sometimes I cry out of fear or frustration, but at other times I throw my arms back and thank God for giving me a most complicated brain.

What a weekend..

2008-10-20T20:56:00.002-04:00

Wow, I haven't had a weekend so jam-packed with so many emotions in quite some time.

The good ones:
1) Sees trip: My wonderful big sister (Sees) and I went on a special trip to Orlando to see a stage production of one of our favorite musical scores, The Last Five Years. Only two actors in it; the girl was great, the boy let us down. But we had fun singing along and criticizing the poor guy :p We also went to Ikea on Saturday morning, which is ALWAYS good.

2) Brother's birthday: My brother-in-law came home on his birthday yesterday after a week in California visiting friends. He, Sees, and I went out for sushi to celebrate. They gave me comfort that I very much needed.

3) Tampa Bay Rays: The Rays won the AL pennant and are headed to the World Series. While I would have been more excited had my circumstances not so drastically changed this weekend, I am happy nonetheless.

4) School: I got several grades for major projects and all were better than even hoped for. I am working so hard and it is so incredibly rewarding to see it recognized.

5) Love: I have had the biggest outpouring of love over the last 2 days, much of it from unexpected sources. I stand in amazement at it.

The not-so-good ones:

Ok one. Jacob has been mulling over some major decisions in his life. He is an officer in the Air Force but he hates his job because he doesn't feel like he's contributing, doing what he signed up to do, because he sits behind a desk performing menial tasks. He wants to do more. His choices were to get out in a year and open his own business or stay in the military and pursue a new path. He has chosen the latter, and is taking possibly one of the most difficult paths. This path will have him in seriously intense training, out of state and maybe country, for the next 18 months or longer. He can't attempt to succeed at that and our relationship without feeling he's failed at both, and I have to admit that it's understandable. So he made a choice. And maybe it was the right one or maybe it was the wrong one, but it is what he feels in his heart he must do and I feel I must support him. I feel proud of him.

I don't think either of us expected to feel the way we did after four months together. But it was so truly genuine, and it bloomed. I was soaring. Every moment I spent with him was treasured, and I carried each of those moments tucked close to me when we were apart. It seemed we wanted the same things, and we both realized we had a lifetime to achieve those things. And how he made me laugh. Quite a big deal, and something I have never had.

So it's gone. I watched him walk away. And he left me empty in so many ways. But I am familiar with the cliche that I will be ok. And I truly know it and believe it. But I desperately wish I could go to that future place right now, to see myself happy and full of laughter and love again, and to not regret a single moment spent with him.

To those closest to me and even those who I've only known a short time: I cannot begin to express my gratitude for the comfort and love that I have felt surrounding me. You inspire me to turn around and move forward and share such love with the world 1000 times over. I pray that I never forget that feeling, and never take any of you for granted. Thank you.

Thank You

2008-10-07T23:18:00.002-04:00

I just have to write down the fact that despite being physically exhausted and overwhelmed with all that's going on, I am happier now, at this point in my life, than I can remember being in a very long time, if ever. It's not attributed to just one thing, but I could confidently make a "Top 5" list. I'll save that for another time :)

"As long as one keeps searching, the answers come." ~Joan Baez

"Love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. Love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it." ~Maya Angelou

"Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." ~Rumi

Miss Pancake!

2008-09-29T19:27:00.000-04:00

Things have been going great! I am finally connecting with my little fifth graders. I don't think I mentioned this yet, but my class is all girls! This particular school separates the boys and girls in fifth grade only. So I have a room full of giggly pre-adolescent girls and it's super fun :)

The first week was a little awkward because the teacher let me introduce myself to the class but didn't really allow me to have any interaction with them after that. Then I was supposed to teach them a lesson to be videotaped the next week! So the day of the lesson arrived and I was so nervous because I barely knew anything about the girls and I was really pining for my little kindergartners at that point.

LUCKILY (at least in retrospect), the teacher had a PTA meeting in the middle of the day (weird huh??) and so I was responsible for picking the class up from PE and bringing them back to the classroom and keeping them occupied while she was gone. She ended up being gone for an hour and a half!

Those girls were so excited to see me arrive by myself at the end of PE! I think they were dying to find out what my deal was. I took them back to the class and told them what was going on. I told them that if they say quietly I would let them ask me anything they wanted to.

Before they started asking, one of the girls said "You're going to be an awesome teacher." And a couple of the other girls agreed. Remember, this was really my first instance interacting with them! I laughed and said "How do you know that??" And another girl replied "Because you're being awesome right now."

It was a great moment. This why I'm doing all of this.

Then they asked me a full range of questions: When's your birthday, are you married, why did you decide to become a teacher (I almost cried when I tried explaining it :p), etc. After that, I took them outside to run around a bit. During this time, a bunch of them huddled around me and we chatted some more. One of them decided that she would like to call me Miss Pancake instead of Miss Cook and it has sort of stuck for the whole class ever since. They're so great :)

Thanks to this opportunity to get to know the girls and develop some mutual admiration and respect, my lesson went extremely well. One down, two to go and I'm home free!

I also took the K-6 Subject Area Examination -- a 5-hour test that is the ultimate determiner of whether I can be certified or not -- on Saturday morning and PASSED!!! What a perfect end to a not-so-great week.

Back!

2008-09-15T18:01:00.001-04:00

My weekend in Atlanta was awesome! I haven't really been to Atlanta since I went with high school choir in 1998. It is so huge, and way more urban and diverse than I imagined. We had a great time visiting Jacob's friends, who were so precious. I loved having the opportunity to meet some of the people from his hometown that he talks about all the time. It was a shame we could only stay for 2 days. There should be pictures eventually.

I am back in the swing of things at home now. All is still well with school -- as far as I can tell I am still very much on top of it. I will meet with my classroom teacher on Wednesday afternoon, I can't wait. We've been emailing and she seems very sweet. I take my most major exam for my certification on Saturday th 27th. It's a 5-hour test. I'm usually pretty good at standardized tests but this one has me worried, less because of the content and more because of the significance it holds to my future. The good thing is that you can take it as many times as you need to but you have to have 31 days between test times. And it only costs $25 :)

The next really exciting thing I have going on is going camping with Jacob on October 11th. I reserved a beach camp site at Fort DeSoto, which has twice been voted America's best beach. It's really cheap to rent the site but you have to reserve months in advance. Some of the best sites are already books through April of 2009! No dogs allowed unfortunately but I always appreciate alone time with the boy.

2008-09-10T08:01:00.000-04:00

I got my classroom assignment and it looks like I'll be with fifth graders this time around! Talk about going the whole spectrum -- from kindergartners to fifth graders, with a brief period of summer reading camp with the second graders. Even though I'm slightly scared of kids this old (as cliche as it is, they're not the same as they used to be! My mom, when hearing the news, exclaimed "You and your sister were so precious at that age!" Oh, to be so naive :)), I am really looking forward to the challenge. I am only praying that my classroom teacher is incredible, because it will make all the difference. I am there to learn after all!

I am heading to Atlanta with Jacob this weekend to visit some friends of his from his hometown who just got married. It's a very spontaneous trip and I'm excited for the adventure! We're leaving Friday at 2 in the afternoon. I'll have to actually take pictures of this trip and post them -- yes, something I constantly neglect to do!

2008-09-08T12:07:00.000-04:00

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
~ Rumi

2008-09-05T09:54:00.000-04:00

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~ Marcel Proust

1-minute awesome update

2008-08-28T15:05:00.002-04:00

1. Long story short, I go to school in a different county than where I live. As a result, the college places students at elementary schools in THAT county for student teaching. Well they told me before I began the program that I would be placed in MY county. This was a big ol' lie. For the last two semesters, I have been in the college's county. It is very important for me to student-teach in my own county so that I can get a feel for the policy there and also begin networking so that I can get a teaching job as soon as possible. So after 6 months of harrassment, I made it happen! The college has found a school in my county willing to take me, and a supervisor from the college willing to drive out there to supervise me. This is a huge deal and I am very excited and proud of myself for not giving this up.

2. My new roommate is fabulous! She is so nice and easygoing. We have spent every night just talking and getting to know eachother. On the first night, Jacob was there; the second night my friend Lisa was there, and last night it was just the two of us. It was fun all nights, and I'm so glad she gets along so well with my friends! But the best news of all is that after 3 nights, she is officially attached to Angus! She has agreed to adopt him, meaning that he'll be living with me and her for now, but when she moves out he goes too! I can't think of a better ending to Angus's little saga. I get more time with him but someone else is actually responsible for him. He gets a great home with a sweet mom and a sweet puggly sister. And I am not committed to yet another animal for an additional 16 years!

3. I am giving blood today. I love when this day comes around. It makes me feel like a part of something to contribute what I can. Since I don't have a whole lot of time to volunteer, bodily fluids will have to do for now! Not to mention they give me snacks, coupons for free pie from Village Inn, and Walmart gift cards! :)

4. Tomorrow begins the holiday weekend and my girlfriends are coming to town! Ok I did just see Katie and Maggie in Baltimore but I could never get enough of their beautiful faces. Maggie will get in tomorrow evening and we're going to the Rays game. Then Katie gets in at midnight. I think on Saturday we'll walk around Centro Ybor and then head to Indian Rocks Beach for the sunset and a visit to Mickey Quinn's Irish pub. On Sunday, weather permitting (please help pray to keep the hurricanes off of me!), Jacob is taking me and the girls to Busch Gardens -- turns out he gets 4 free tickets a year for being in the Air Force and he is such a sweet boy to use them for me and my friends.

I will plan on actually posting pictures of all my adventures soon!

2008-08-26T15:33:00.003-04:00

Wow, so much has been going on, and I keep putting off updating because it feels like such an insurmountable task. But I might as well begin somewhere.

Tonight is my first night back in class after a glorious 5-week break. I feel I made great use of that time off: I little relaxing and a lot of traveling and fun stuff!

I spent 4 days in Baltimore in the middle of this month and it was so great. I got to spend time with my best friends and hang out in my old neighborhood which has only gotten better since I left, despite the fact that, well, *I* left :) Jacob flew with me and stayed with his friend in DC. We were all able to meet up one night for a Nationals baseball game which was fun despite a few snags in the plan. I loved having Jacob meet those girls. It was like completing a circle or something.

I spent last week in Denver at a research conference. The conference was ok; it really catered toward people working on research for higher-ed foundations, and not activist foundations like the Sierra Club. So I found bits of information useful, but overall I decided not to worry about retaining every useless word. I really loved having the time to explore a new city and spend some alone time. I did a lot of reading, a little shopping, and a LOT of working out. I'm to a point where working out is something I enjoy doing and I was grateful for the gym in my hotel! After being gone, first in Baltimore and then in Denver, for two weeks, I had a renewed appreciation for my little life in Tampa. I am happy to be home.

I just got a roommate! Her name is Melanie and she is really sweet. I think we're going to do just fine living together. She has a pug named Lilo, but Lilo is currently staying with Melanie's parents. Lilo hasn't met my girls yet, but we're confident that everyone will get along once they establish they're little puppy hierarchy (let's be honest, how much choice does a 6-month-old pug have anyway??)

I have been dating Jacob for about 3 months now. He's really wonderful beyond words. We connect in the most important ways and he makes me laugh more consistently than anyone I've ever known. I can't believe I can even say that so emphatically, but it's true! We have a lot of things in common and I feel like the things we enjoy doing together are limitless. I am truly just enjoying the time I get to spend with him, and I hope he'll stick around for a while :)

I'm still chugging along at the Sierra Club. The pay is not great by any standards, and layoffs are talked about all the time which isn't encouraging. Plus, the FL staff is so limited that I feel very isolated from the rest of the staff sometimes -- most of the people I "work with" on a regular basis are in San Francisco. While I'm losing momentum and motivation in the job, I have two great bosses who I love and who know about my ultimate goal. So for now, the job will do, while I finish up my certification.

This is my last semester at St. Pete College! If all goes right for me, I will be employed by the Hillsborough County School system in January. This may not be possible and I may have to wait until next fall, but I am really aiming for a January start. I have been doing very well in school and am already confident that I will walk away from the program with a 4.0 and wonderful references.

Lastly, I still have one of the kittens. It's kind of a sad story, but Angus (formerly changed to Jack, now back to Angus) has been returned to me not once, but twice. Both times have had nothing to do with him, just foolish people. The first girl returned him to me at 5am the morning after she took him home. She took him home at 8 weeks old, the night after his spaying surgery. He was probably sore and away from his mom for the first time in his life, and she couldn't put up with a bit of crying, so she gave him back to me. The second person was an acquaintance of mine from the dog park. She really wanted a kitten, but was moving into a new house that needed work. I agreed to keep Angus an extra month while she worked on the house. Well a month turned into two months. Her "tab" piled up as I took Angus in for all his shots and fed him, etc. By the time she took him, she agreed to pay me the $125 in reimbursement for those expenses (all receipted). Well after having him a week, she told me she wouldn't give me more than $50. I told her that that wasn't really fair after I had done her a favor and had incurred these expenses under the agreement she would pay me back. I offered to let her pay me in installments. She wrote me back the next day and said her dog had tried to bite Angus so she would just bring him back to me. Yeah right. She never gave me a dime. So the poor little guy, the sweetest kitten I have ever known in all my cat-loving years, is back with me. It breaks my heart because it takes all the willpower in me to let him go each time, and I have to keep going through it over and over again. I would love to keep him but I am not in the position to commit to another animal. Please pray for Angus to find the right home soon. He SO deserves it.

Ok I think that's about all! I'll try not to let so much time pass between entries. That will make both the writing and reading easier :)

before-and-after house pic and more!

2008-07-31T10:55:00.003-04:00

BEFORE:

AFTER:

ONE OF MANY URBAN NEIGHBORHOOD ROOSTERS (this is next door to my house):

Here is a write-up on my neighborhood. I'm growing to truly love it here :)

It's a place full of history.

It's a place full of nightlife.

It's a place called Ybor City.

You'll know you've entered Ybor City when the streets turn from asphalt to brick and the lampposts from concrete to ornate wrought iron. When the atmosphere turns from button-down to bottoms up. No sterile high-rises here. Ybor City's buildings bespeak a bygone era when craftsmen prided themselves on quality workmanship. At every turn are elements of classical and Mediterranean architecture.

This multicultural enclave started out as 40 acres ofswamp and scrub northeast of Tampa. The name Ybor (pronounced EE-bore) belongs to one its founders. In 1886 cigarmakers Vicente Martinez-Ybor and Ignacio Haya moved their cigar factories from Key West to Tampa.

Tampa had everything the cigarmakers needed: a railroad, a port and a warm climate that provided a natural humidor for the tobacco leaf.

Once the cigarmaking was under way, Ybor City became home to Cuban, Spanish and Italian immigrants who worked in more than 140 cigar factories in and around the area, producing 250-million cigars a year.

For more than half a century, Ybor City was the "Cigar Capital of the World." While the cigar industry was thriving, Ybor City was alive and kicking with Latin culture and language.

Residents depended on clubs such as the Centro Espanol, Centro Asturiano and Unione Italiana for all their medical and social needs. Many of those buildings have been renovated and are in use today.

Out on La Septima Avenida (Seventh Avenue), trolly cars carried residents across town, boys sold deviled crabs on the corner and everyone was reading the latest edition of La Gaceta, Ybor's tri-lingual newspaper that's still in print today.

Many cigar workers lived in and owned small homes called casitas. Three of the casitas have been restored and are part of the Ybor City State Museum at 1818 Ninth Ave. The museum also offers walking tours of Ybor City.

In the early 1990s, the area beagan attracting many artistic types and nightclubs. In the late 1990's land developers moved in, seeking to capitalize upon the perception of Ybor City as a cutting edge cultural area. Many upscale bars and a trendy shopping complex called Centro Ybor have sprung up.

Ybor City is now undergoing residential redevelopment and infill. The neighorhoods surrounding 7th Avenue are beginning to transform with restoration of historic homes and the addition of modern lofts and townhomes.

Ybor City is a National Historic Landmark District, one of only three in Florida.

The city's past is still very much a part of the present.

2008-07-09T11:17:00.001-04:00

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
~ Mark Twain

Sorry :(

2008-07-07T12:19:00.002-04:00

I have totally been MIA and I appreciate those who still blog-stalk even my blog!

Things are going so well in my life! I closed on my house on May 30 so of course that has been the main cause for my absence. Despite endless little problems that arise and a short period of buyer's remorse, I'm so happy to be in my house. It's coming together quicker than I expected, and there are only a few tubs still lying around waiting to be emptied. My parents bought me a washer and dryer as a housewarming gift and they will be installed on Saturday. Being able to do laundry there will make me feel completely moved in.

I am wrapping up the summer semester of my program. It has been hell, let me tell you. They fit 2 of the most boring classes (plus one great reading class) into the shortest term in the year. The workload is insane due to the shortened time frame and one of the classes being online. My classmates and I are struggling through, however, and I am still managing to carry through with A's. But I have 5 major assignments due before the end of this week (the last week!) so I can almost guarantee you that my borderline A's will become high B's and I'm already working on accepting that :)

I've also been spending my somewhat limited free time with a pretty awesome person. That's all I'll say. :p

2008-06-17T10:10:00.000-04:00

"Nature provides exceptions to every rule." ~Margaret Fuller

Blogstalgia

2008-06-13T12:28:00.004-04:00

This is nostalgia, blog style. I can't believe how many blogs I've started and stopped. The first one was on Xanga when I was 20. I was inspired to see if it still existed (haven't been there since 2003) and lo and behold there it was! It's insane to read those entries. Although I had forgotten that most of it took place, it flooded back into my mind like I'm still a nanny in DC, waiting to start college in Baltimore. I would likely do it all again, although I like being 25 :)

Monday, July 14, 2003

I love climbing trees. I love singing babies to sleep. I love raspberries. I love smiling when I hang up the phone. I love long hugs from close friends. I love boats. I love the sound of a bee. I love morning hugs from Killian. I love laughing till it hurts. I love eating at Chipotle. I love talking late until I pass out. I love coconut juice. I love making homemade presents. I love singing onstage. I love singing in the car. I love finding things in common with strangers. I love working at ice cream parlors. I love talking into a fan. I love juice bars from the ice cream truck. I love playing video games for hours. I love the smell of wood. I love bouncy balls. I love stepping on Cheerios. I love taking pictures. I love smelling and looking at lilac fields. I love faeries. I love the way my mom says hi when she hears my voice. I love jumping rope. I love Jolly Ranchers. I love listening to my Godmother's sweet voice. I love autumn. I love collecting junk. I love sprinklers. I love making collages. I love hearing people talk about things they've just learned. I love laughing at myself. I love cuddling with Fish. I love listening to Phish. I love when Katie picks her nose. I love hookahs. I love family portraits. I love the smell of baby shampoo. I love my sister's advice. I love opening a new book. I love finishing an old book again. I love chai tea lattes with soy milk. I love brown eyes. I love dark blue eyes. I love long drives on backroads. I love cream cheese icing. I love catchphrases. I love misfits. I love Gogurt. I love porch swings. I love sun dresses. I love the sound of a cello. I love the beach in the early evening. I love when Karen licks my nose. I love having something wonderful to look forward to. I love curling up under blankets in a cold room. I love when my dad tells me he prays for me. I love waking up smiling. I love kisses. I love listening to thunder with someone I love. I love kickball. I love my brother-in-law's laugh. I love grocery shopping at 2am. I love feeling safe. I love feeling loved.

http://www.xanga.com/BaltimoreBomberGirl

Thank you Heidi!

2008-06-07T21:54:00.006-04:00

She took these pictures when the kitties were four weeks old (and Flora was 1 year old and Ava was 18 months old and Jamie was 25.9 years old)

House pictures!

2008-06-06T10:10:00.004-04:00

These aren't the best -- they are pictures the seller sent me before I ever saw it. I thought I would post them so you can see it but also for a good before-and-after reference. The house will be painted inside AND out before I move in!

Front -- on a main one-way street in Tampa. The house was built in 1920, and moved to its current location in 2001 when a highway was built on its original plot. All homes on the street were moved by the city's historic preservation project. Everything done to the outside of these houses has to be approved by city's historic preservation commission. The house was renovated in 2006 with all new heating/AC, plumbing, electric, and metal roof. Lots of other stuff is new but that's the most important stuff :)

The living room looking out to the front of the house. The living and dining rooms and both bedrooms have 10 foot ceilings and wooden floors.

The dining room looking to the back of my house. This will actually be my piano room, and my piano will fit perfectly between those two doors (bathroom and kitchen) in the back!

The kitchen! Everything is brand new. The ceilings slope up to 10 feet which I love :) The back door in the kitchen leads out to the backyard and there is a washer/dryer closet in there as well.

Bathroom! It's HUGE and I love it! Both bathroom and kitchen have new ceramic tile. The closet in the bathroom is also huge, LOVE IT.

This is the front bedroom and will most likely be my bedroom.

This is the spare bedroom. I would prefer this room because it's not on the main street but it only has one window that looks out on the house next store (which is only 5 feet from mine!) so it will never get natural light. The front street isn't too noisy so it's worth the sacrifice.

Thanks for looking! All of the painting will be done by the 20th and I move in on the 21st so update pictures will be after then!

2008-06-06T10:08:00.000-04:00

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." ~Albert Einstein

Kitty Viddy-O!

2008-06-04T13:06:00.003-04:00

WARNING: This video may cause dizziness :) It also makes the kittens look completely insane, which of course they are at 7 weeks! Flora is so funny, she does NOT take her eyes off the camera for a second, whether I'm filming her or not.

Last but not least, Juno has a home :):):) I secretly hoped that one of them would be homeless and I would have no choice but to keep them myself :p I'm going to miss all of them so much!

The best kitten update yet!

2008-06-03T09:51:00.007-04:00

Angus is now named Jack and belongs to a fabulous person named Wanda. Wanda is totally and completely in love and obsessed with Jack! She visits him weekly, grills me on how he is being cared for (in a very friendly way and I love this!), and has even bought food to keep the brood fed. She has been so busy preparing for his homecoming next week, and I continue to try and break away from him and the others emotionally. Can't you see how tough this is going to be???

Pearl, who became Elmer when I realized he was a boy, is now Kimba. His home will be with my dog park friend, Uli, her husband Dave, and their three dogs. Luckily Kimba is well-adjusted to dogs and he will do well with this little family, I'm sure. He is such a sweet boy but also very rambunctious! You can see by this look that he is quite the heart-stealer :)

My sweet little Delilah has finally gotten a home! I couldn't believe no one had expressed interest in her as of last Thursday. She is very unique-looking and has the biggest, roundest eyes. She is also the biggest cuddlebug of the group. I can't sit on the floor without having her in my lap. I would say I would keep her if I could, but I think I'd say that about all of them!! Delilah is going home with a really great guy, my old neighbor Jacob. Jacob lives alone and doesn't have any other pets and I'm sure he'll dote on Delilah! But what if she gets bored when Jacob is at work, you say? She won't be lonely, because guess who is going with her??!!

FLORA!!!! As of last night, Jacob confirmed that he would like to give Flora, the moma cat, a home too. Boy, is he one lucky fella to get these two sweeties! I am so grateful to him and to my other adoptive parents. Thanks to them, I feel totally comfortable and confident letting go of my little fosters.

Lastly, sweet and tiny Juno is the last to need a home! I also feel confident that she will find the perfect home very soon. Juno had some health problems early on. One girl expressed a lot of interest in Juno but never called back once I told her about the FCKS. This is Flat Chested Kitten Syndrome. The main sign of it is literally a flat chest -- you could feel the ribcage flatten, instead of curve. Luckily for me I wasn't able to diagnose it until she was 5 weeks old, because I read that the mortality rate is 50% up to 3 weeks old! The great news is that if they live after that, they are almost guaranteed to live a normal life. She was the runt and was slow to catch up to the others, but she is FINALLY growing, filling out, straying from her mom's nipple and eating solid food, and running around playing like crazy!!! Check out these pictures I took of her last night, she's gonna go quickly now, I know it! And worst case scenario is I have to keep her. :p

(She is on the left in the first photo; Jack is on the right)

I'm a homeowner :)

2008-06-02T07:05:00.003-04:00

Hence my disappearing for the most part over the last month. I found an incredible house at an incredible price and despite many obstacles, I was determined to make it happen. And it still surprised me when it actually did happen! I closed on Friday, May 30, the keys are in my hand, there's no backing out now by any party. I'm so happy :)

In other news, 4 out of the 5 cats have homes thanks to some special souls in my life, school is beating me senseless but don't worry I keep getting back up, and life is ultimately fantastic. More to come once I rest -- which means see you in 2008 :p

<3 Jamie

1 down, 4 to go!!!

2008-05-15T10:54:00.002-04:00

Angus has a home! He will be with me for 4 more weeks until he is old enough to leave his mom, but the greatest girl is adopting him! I am so happy about this adoption, and I have a good feeling that the next 4 will be equally perfect.

She is naming him Jack :)

KITTENS!!!

2008-05-12T10:00:00.001-04:00

They were still opening their eyes in this photo - 2 weeks old

3 weeks and playing like crazy! Angus (R) and Elmer (formerly Pearl but he's officially a boy)

Elmer

Delilah (still a girl)

Toulouse (now Juno, a girl!)

I could watch them do this for 8 hours straight. From L-R: Angus, Juno, Elmer, Delilah.

None have definite homes yet. I plan on taking them outside for some really good natural-light photos this weekend when they're one month old. It's so hard to photograph them, especially the dark ones, in that dark room! When I have the photos I am going to make flyers of the "miracle babies" and pass them around my neighborhood and put one up at the vet.

Mom o' Mine

2008-05-12T09:41:00.004-04:00

My mom is obviously pretty great. Anyone who has met her, laughed with her, eaten one of her fabulous meals, or cuddled with her (and yes, some of my friends have) know that she is pretty darn special in many people's lives. My mom and I talk every day, probably for at least an hour when you add up all the calls. I don't know how I would get through it all if I didn't have her to verbalize every thought in my brain. She is so supportive of every decision I make (even the not-so-good ones), and she is equally supportive when I suffer the consequences of my mistakes. She trusts me in everything I do, and she respects me for who I've become. I came to Florida to be near her, and I don't plan on leaving until she does. We have our own language, even though we don't really understand what the other is saying! No matter how old I get, the best way to end a week will still be with a big Mommy-hug.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOMMY!

We had a great day yesterday. Mom said she didn't want us to do anything for Mother's Day, but of course that's silly. Plans were already in the works. She said she wanted to see the kittens so I suggested she come over Sunday afternoon. She invited Ashley but Ashley never returned her call. When mom pulled up to the house, Ashley and I were standing in the driveway with our "I <3 Mom" shirts on (3 years running we've worn these all day on Mother's Day). My mom was totally shocked! She understood why Christopher wasn't there (he has been avoiding the kittens in fear of wanting to take one), so we went on in the house. While she was putting something in my fridge, Christopher comes around the corner and is standing behind the fridge door. When mom stood up, there he was! She screamed so loud, out of both happiness and sheer terror. It was great -- I live for those moments :)

We gave her gifts and took her to Chipotle. Then of course she and Ashley and Chrisopher played with kittens to their hearts content! Kitten update is next!

This just in

2008-05-07T09:25:00.002-04:00

I just got my grades and I officially have a 4.0 in the program! Perhaps even more victoriously, I received flowers and a card -- and a coupon for a free hug -- from each of my students. This was such an incredible experience, and I am really looking forward to next semester. I just wish it could start in two weeks instead of next Tuesday :)

In other news, Ava is doing great! She was very sore last weekend, and was walking totally on three legs! But by Sunday afternoon she was back to her old self and wanted to play rough with Gabby. As a result I ended up leaving Gabs at my parents' house for the week as I foresaw those stitches ripping right out during their tumble sessions. Ava has been content for the most part with lying around while I work. She doesn't have to have her cone on as long as I'm watching her, which is most of the time. The saddest part of the day comes when we're cuddling close at night, and then right before I turn off my light I have to wake her up and slip the e-collar on. It's so pathetic, but it's better than taking the chance on her chewing the stitches out! And she still manages to sleep completely under the covers WITH the collar on, which would be an interesting sight to see if anyone walked into my room in the middle of the night! Anyway, the stitches should be coming out on Monday.

Lastly, there is still plenty of house drama going on. If it's not one thing, it's another. If it's not one disaster-house, it's another. Sorry to be so cryptic, but what's the point in getting excited or unexcited right now?

Poor little Ava

2008-05-02T10:33:00.003-04:00

Well, they say when it rains it pours, and sadly my little tot pup forgot her umbrella.

While frolicking with her sister outside this morning, Ava ran under a bush and came out whincing in pain. He leg was split open right up the side. After nearly getting sick from looking at it and panicking a little, I drove her to the animal hospital with one hand on the wheel and one hand applying pressure to her boo-boo. It was gushing blood, and she was so calm and so brave. I carried her into the vet and the sweet girl at the front desk was sure to find me MY doctor immediately (if Leavengood had walked in I would have said "...it's not THAT much of an emergency!" He probably would have suggested I euthanize her!) So my vet made me feel much better, said it looks a lot worse than it is. He wrapped it up for now and will put her under and stitch it up this afternoon. He was just so great. Not to mention my front-desk friend (we see a lot of each other!) moved my car for me, which I had left on with the door open, blocking everyone in because there were no spots!

I should be able to pick her up this after 4:30. I'll keep my blog updated with pictures of her bandaged up in her e-collar. Here is a preview of what it will look like (aka Gabby in the same situation 3 years ago :))

Never mind :(

2008-05-01T09:28:00.002-04:00

Didn't happen, it failed inspection in every critical area. Who knew that what lurks behind the walls can ruin everything?

I'm not the happiest right now. Hopefully I'll feel better soon and be able to give a more positive update.

I'VE GOT A HOUSE!!!

2008-04-29T10:37:00.000-04:00

(pending inspection :)) Updates soon!

I'm awesome

2008-04-28T13:55:00.001-04:00

75 words

Speedtest

Weekend Update

2008-04-28T09:48:00.003-04:00

I had a fun sleepover with my mom and sis at my house on Friday night. We ate muchos nachos and watched Juno, which I proceeded to watch 2 more times over the course of the weekend. EXCELLENT movie :)

I tried to spend Saturday doing next-to-nothing, and I was fairly successful. I had one more kinda lame assignment to complete and submit online, so I finished that about 24 hours ahead of schedule since I knew my Sunday wouldn't be quite so carefree.

On Saturday night, I babysat for my little 2-year-old next door neighbor and it was quite possibly the best babysitting experience of my life. Here's why: they asked me to bring Gabby! I couldn't believe it!! Gabby loves little kids and I fully trust her with them, and the parents must trust me a good bit for allowing me to do that. Gabby and Augustine spent the first half hour of the evening chasing eachother around the house. Then Augustine ate dinner and he quickly learned the trick to making Gabby totally happy: he kept "accidentally" dropping food on the floor :) After dinner we went to a little remote park. No one was there so I let Gabby run loose with Augustine. I haven't seen Gabby act this young in years: there is a little rock-climbing wall, much like this one:
Not only did she climb up it, she climbed DOWN it as well! She did this at least 30 times, as Augustine wanted to climb up it and then go down the slide over and over. Gabby would leap up it in two leaps, and then leap down it to meet Augustine at the bottom of the slide. It was so awesome to see her acting so young and spry :)

I went to church on Sunday morning and that was great as always. I babysat in Apollo Beach last night until 11 and had a wonderful time with my sweet twins, Christian and Sydney. Apollo Beach is near my parents house so I had a 30 minute drive home afterwards. Even though I was dead tired, my evening only got better. As I went in to check on the kittens before going to bed, I saw two little black dots staring at my from Pearl's pearly fur! HER EYES ARE OPENING!! Actually, Delilah was first. As of this morning, she has one bulging eye and another almost-completely open eye. Pearl has the cutest little dots, but there nowhere near fully opened. Toulouse has similar dots but much much smaller, and Angus has one corner of one eye slightly parted. But hey, all of them are on there way to being able to see me! Oh, and everything else in the world :)

Lastly, Toulouse, my little runty undercat, has a purr as big as his mommy's. He's the only one that purrs and it is the sweetest sound I've ever heard. Oh my gosh, can you even imagine me as a new mother? I'll be so annoying :p

Thanks for reading! I'll post pictures when all eyes are open!

For Shelley!

2008-04-23T14:42:00.005-04:00

I don't think this link worked in your comments but I really wanted you to see this picture, click on it to make it bigger:

Another video

2008-04-23T14:28:00.001-04:00

Flora is rubbing all over the camera at the beginning of this one, she is so sweet! :)

My last attempt to share this video

2008-04-23T13:33:00.001-04:00

Yay it's working! This video stars Toulouse. Toulouse is the little blackish runt of the litter, and I love this because he is totally dominating everyone in this video! He is normally the underdog -- er, undercat, if you will -- so this may have been his one moment of fame :)

2008-04-22T09:57:00.000-04:00

"The wilderness holds answers to questions man has not yet learned to ask." ~ Nancy Newhall

HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!

a 9th pet???

2008-04-21T15:34:00.002-04:00

don't worry, i set this one free :):)

Racism at its finest

2008-04-21T14:51:00.003-04:00

I'm of course joking, but here's the thing about the kittens: no one who has expressed interest in having a kitten has mentioned any but the white kitten! It's unfortunate because they all need good homes and I am nervous that once the white one is gone, everyone will lose interest.

To remedy this, the white one is officially "off the market". I want people who are genuinely interested in helping these babies, and Flora, and who are more concerned about personality than looks. To be completely honest, I don't trust people who buy pets solely based on what they look like to stick with pet ownership when the going gets tough. This is a main reason for finding so many "pocket pups" in shelters. You know I don't take the responsibility of a pet lightly!

A quick science lesson!

2008-04-21T09:55:00.002-04:00

This is for my concerned reader who is a doting mother herself :)

Generally, domestic cats (which include both house pets and feral cats) do not have a pack mentality like other animals. They hunt alone and fend for themselves. Mother cats will usually leave their offspring to fend for themselves -- also called "scattering" them -- as early as 12 weeks and as late as 10 months (sexual maturity). As much as I convince myself otherwise, cats and other animals are unlike humans because their instincts tend to carry little emotion. Just as her birthing them, caring for them, and being protective of them are instinctual, so will separating from them be. It's such a difficult concept for us to grasp, especially you mothers out there :) But it's the reality, and so it's best to think about the fact that without my and Divine intervention, the scattering would happen on Flora Avenue, right by the highway, instead of into safe and loving homes!

On that note, I think I have my first official adoption of one of the babies! They haven't picked one out yet but the mother of one of the sweetest boys in my kindergarten class says she wants one! The little boy has a twin brother and the mom is a vet tech so I can't think of a better home for one of my babies!! On the flip side, my heart sank for a minute, thinking of having to give up (and separate) my tiny furballs. But it is obviously what I will need to do; I can't very well have 5 cats :p I passed along my number to the mother and hopefully she'll come with the boys to visit the babies when they're a bit older, and pick out her kitten! I will likely send them to their new homes at somewhere between 8 and 12 weeks old. So I've got at least two months to love on them :)

One down, four to go! Remember Flora needs the loviest home. She is so incredible. I wish I could keep her above all.

The Good News Train

2008-04-19T18:21:00.002-04:00

"The house thing" should finally be happening!!!! Pending an inspection, which is a big "if" considering this is a foreclosure. It needs minor work but it is adorable and everything works -- electrical, plumbing, appliances... I love this house and can see me and my EIGHT PETS in it. I refuse to post pictures, however, until I have the key in my hand :)

In addition to this happy news, my new babies are doing great. Flora is such an incredible mom. As much as I love and adore all my current and previous pets, I have never had so much respect for an animal as I do for Flora. I can't stop thinking about what she went through all alone on Thursday night. She squeezed all four of those babies out of her, got them breathing, cleaned them, and has been protecting them nonstop ever since. Her crate is now in my bedroom so that she can stay cool and away from the mosquitos. Last night, I slept on the couch so that I could be with the pups and the kitties could have privacy. I woke up in the middle of the night with both girls stretched out alongside me and Fish on my chest. I have the most perfect life.

I have finished all school assignments and only have finals next week which should be a breeze. I will then be one-third of the way to becoming a teacher. It's amazing.

I knew it was all a means to an end, and the blessings of it all are pouring down all around me.

One reason I've been MIA

2008-04-18T10:58:00.002-04:00

I want to tell you a short story about my last 48 hours:

As some of you know, I have been house-hunting in Tampa. While going to take one last look at a house in Seminole Heights before putting an offer in, I decided to check out another house nearby for one last time. There, I found a familiar face: a sweet stray kitty that I had seen twice before. This time was different because she was so FAT! When it dawned on me that she was pregnant, I just couldn’t leave her there. She came home with me on Wednesday night and I named her Flora after the street on which I found her. I have had a lot of cats in my life, and I have never known one to be so calm, so sweet, and so loving.

I took Flora to my normal vet practice on Thursday morning. I ended up seeing a vet I don’t like so much, and he was pretty adamant about wanting to spay her immediately. His words were “I’ll spay her up to the last minute”, thereby killing the babies. I could already feel the babies moving! He gave me an estimate of 20 days until they were born. He treated me like I was an irresponsible pet owner if I didn’t abort her litter. I left with the words “I’ll sleep on it” just so that I could get out of there. Happily, she was negative for both Feline Leukemia and FIV.

I settled her in last night for the long haul, planning on waiting 20 days and then fostering the kittens until they could be adopted. I placed my favorite shirt, my union shirt, in the crate with her because it smelled like me.

I went to check on her this morning at 7:30. She growled as I opened the laundry room door. That was strange because she usually meows with happiness when I come in. I uncovered the crate and lo and behold, I found four healthy, happy little babies! She gave birth to those babies 24 hours after arriving at my home.

I had to share this with you because it reminds me how everything happens for a reason, and how if we trust our hearts they will truly guide us. I believe that Flora waited until she felt totally safe and comfortable, then she let her babies be born. If they had been born where she was living at the time, underneath a 90 year old house, they would not have survived very long at all.

I have found a cat rescue who has agreed to spay all the kitties and find the babies homes, but I am going to try my hardest to find them homes myself. Let me know if you're interested!

Remember to trust your heart.

2008-04-14T11:33:00.003-04:00

This photo was taken here in Florida. I feel that it truly encapsulates the silver lining that I see amidst all the chaos in my life right now. I love teaching and I know I'm darn good at it, so nothing else matters in the struggle to become a teacher. I want to thank those of you who read this and have shown your support!

Finally a reward

2008-04-11T18:39:00.002-04:00

It's been a very very hard week on me: physically, mentally, and perhaps most of all emotionally. If felt like so many forces were working against me and I was desperately clinging to the concept of "an end in sight". Well, hopefully today is the beginning of the end, and I mean that in the best way possible.

I had my third and final observed lesson this morning at 9. I felt totally unprepared not because I hadn't worked hard on my lesson and practiced it, but because I was so emotionally drained that I couldn't fully concentrate on it at any time. During the lesson, the kids were not as well-behaved as they had promised to be. In the same breath, they were no worse-behaved than they are at most times. It's just that combination of struggling to maintain class control while being WATCHED by someone who is totally judging you.

In my mind, I was failing at a level I hadn't failed at all semester -- I felt this so strongly that at the end of the lesson, my classroom teacher came up to me and I started crying! She was so sweet, asking me why I was crying because I did a fantastic job. I told her I didn't want my supervisor to see me crying and so she let me duck inside her office for a moment. When I finally spoke with my supervisor, red-eyed with my tail tucked, I was in for the shock of my life.

After explaining that my tears weren't so much about the lesson as the build-up of crap (I'm sure I used a more "teacher-appropriate" phrase), she said she understood and then started off with something a little scary: "Jamie, you have really put me in quite the dilemma...." OH MY GOSH she needs to fail me but doesn't want to see me jump off a bridge? WHAT'S THE DILEMMA?!

She said "We really are told not to give 5's and I will just have to have a meeting with the program leaders to explain why I've given you almost all 5's." !!!!!!!!!!! I really couldn't make this stuff up if i tried!! I don't know what is wrong with this woman, but she is very insistent that I am perhaps the best intern EVER. She also had a discussion with my classroom teacher, who was concerned because she is also not to give 5's (she also has to assess me once at the end of the semester) but she doesn't know what else to give me. The supervisor told her not to worry about it and to go ahead and do it. Wow.

You guys don't understand what this means to me. I love teaching more than anything I've ever done in my life. I never knew it would be this amazing... so rewarding and, really, I've learned more from those little people than I could ever teach them. I cannot even believe that some people get PAID for this.

On the other hand, you can enjoy doing it and still not be good at it (prime example: my dancing). So to hear these women say these things about me -- even put themselves on the line for me when it comes to "overscoring" me: this cancels out EVERYTHING that has happened this week, including:

My awful professor saying something hurtful about me to my entire class.
Fish crunching down a lizard and then throwing it up in my kitchen.
Finding a stray dog only to have it jump my fence and run away before someone could come to help it.
Having my my work computer crash and not getting a new one till next week, leaving me useless at work but having to go nonetheless.
Having the DC event get cancelled which also cancels my free trip to visit my friends in Baltimore.
My boss being upset about the DC event being cancelled and taking it out on me.
Ava waking me up at 5am to tell me she peed all over the living room.
Cleaning up pee at 5am.
Having someone at work completely betray my trust.
Getting stuck in traffic and arriving late to class (I HATE doing this.)
Cleaning up Fish's poop stains from where he slid his butt along the floor.

2008-04-09T17:51:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a while but the truth of the matter is that there are too many unknowns right now to sit down and write a fair and accurate update.

Just know that things are good -- not great, but good -- and after the month of April life should get significantly more bearable. Well, at least for a little while :)

Let me sum it up by saying: I have two weeks of classes left but at least 8 last-minute assignments to complete, and I have two major fundraising events for work, both taking place out of state, that I am largely responsible for making happen. The month of May has never looked so good.

Thanks for bearing with me :)

Update on the cool basketball thingie...

2008-03-24T16:20:00.004-04:00

I didn't even get to watch the ONE game. My dad informed me that in that game, which I had no idea was going on, Georgetown DESTROYED the Retrievers!! The BULLDOGS destroyed us! I knew we should have changed to a tougher mascot!

My dad tried to console me by telling me that they always pit the rookie teams in the tournament against the top teams. For another example, he says, Carolina ANNIHALATED St. Mary's, another Maryland college. I think he only used this example to rub it in that his team is still in the running. And probably going to win.

Well, it was fun while it lasted. But in the end, we ARE still the Harvard of Nigeria!

Go Retrievers!

2008-03-19T15:52:00.004-04:00

Wow! Who even knew my alma mater HAD a basketball team???

Here's the scoop. I went to UMBC, or the University of Maryland Baltimore County, a smaller honor's university version of the big U of Maryland. It is tucked away in a hillside of Baltimore and it is filled to the brim with academic overachievers and Chinese students (official statistics say the nationality is nearly the majority on campus). It has one of the best undergraduate programs for cultural anthropology in the country. And one more bit of trivia: our overwhelmingly large Nigerian student population has informed me that UMBC is like Harvard in Nigeria!

I absolutely loved my time here but still cringe a little when people ask me where I went to school because I can't just say "UMBC". Not only has nobody heard of it, but people notice immediately that the name is an acronym, so I have to explain the full name, which totally makes it sound like a community college.

Again, honor's university -- this mostly means we're better with our brains than our brawn. We don't have a football team, and the only sport I've known us to kick any form of butt in is lacrosse. But lo and behold, UMBC has made me very proud recently!

Yes, my readers, UMBC has made it to.... ummm.... some sort of NCAA basketball thing.... that is, like, really special? Spoken like a true alumnus, I have no idea about the sports world. But the beauty of it is that people no longer look at me quizzically when I speak of UMBC!

Exhibit A: After my dad telling me this news on Sunday, I put it to the test yesterday. I saw a new doctor and THANK GOD he asked me where I went to college! Avoiding my usual spiel, I simply said "Oh, UMBC." Despite my smugness, his smile took me offguard! He knew! I couldn't help but say "...You know what that is?" to which he replied "Of course I do, they made it to the [insert name of NCAA special tournament thing here]. YESSSSSS!!

I am so psyched to think of the possibility of watching a sports game and actually CARING who wins!! The ultimate would be if it comes down to UMBC and my dad's alma mater, Carolina, in the finals! My mom is already going wild in her imagination with all the dips she could make for that day!

So, I sum up by saying "GO UMBC CHESAPEAKE BAY RETRIEVERS!" and "...do you think that, now that we're getting noticed, we should perhaps come up with a less wimpy mascot? Maybe a dalmation? They're serious biters."

I'm off to write a letter to alumni relations about this. Eve, I hope you're also jumping with joy and that you'll come to Florida for the aforementioned PARTAY!

Happy Saint Patty's Day?

2008-03-17T08:14:00.002-04:00

It's not going too happily so far! I am supposed to spend the entire day in the classroom, beginning at 8:30 this morning. Well, I got all ready right on time, and headed out the door, when I realized my keys were missing.

It turns out that they are in my mom's car, left there after our day of house hunting (which was depressing by the way -- everything I can afford in the neighborhood I want to living in is a foreclosure that the previous owners decided to trash. One is promising and I'll tell you about it later). Unluckily for me, my mom was gracious enough yesterday to unlock my front door with her key to my house. Otherwise, I would have obviously noticed it right then and there.

So my mom, bless her heart, is making the 35 minute drive to my house as we speak. I really hope the rest of the day goes a bit more smoothly.

A week in retrospect

2008-03-14T15:55:00.002-04:00

It's been crazy. Coming back from Spring Break into overdrive, with the news of not getting the house weighing me down, I am suprisingly content and even optimistic today.

I battled with extreme exahaustion earlier in the week, with the potential for a strike draining me even more every day at work. Wednesday night came and went with the strike still on for the next day. It was at that point that I finally accepted that it was going to happen. I made plans to be with my class the next day and went to bed for a long, much-needed, winter's nap. Alas, all was in vain because I was rudely awoken at almost midnight by a call from some people in California (obviously with complete disregard for the time difference) who wanted to -- cheerfully -- let me know that the strike has been cancelled! Woohoo? Not so much. I didn't want to go on strike in the first place, didn't want to be a part of the union in the first place, but since I was forced into the latter, I accepted the former, only to be disturbed from the sleep I so desperately craved by someone telling me "never mind, but thanks for your solidarity!" Needless to say, I was one unhappy camper.

But all is well, everyone seems happy, and I didn't have to miss a day of pay on Thursday. Also, I rest in the fact that by the time this contract expires in 2010, I will be battling with a whole new union: that of the teachers of the world!

I am still enthralled with all that I'm learning in school and in the classroom, and I couldn't be more grateful that my grades are actually reflecting this! We all know that this is not always the case. The stars have to be in perfect alignment, and the formula must involve enthrallment, dedication, great professors, supportive peers, and patient co-op teachers. well, I've been blessed with it all!

This weekend contains the following awesomeness:
Tonight: babysitting for sleeping children (aka watching HGTV)
Tomorrow: dog beach (it's supposed to be the most perfect beach weather conditions!)
Tomorrow night: an evening out with friends to Mad Dogs and Englishman to bring the house down rebel style in true St. Patty's Day fashion. Maybe a little tinwhistle playing if people play their cards right.
Sunday morning: teaching the teens at church alone for the first time ever (gulp)
Sunday afternoon: looking at houses with the trusty real estate man and my parents
Sunday evening: my only time I'm choosing to devote to schoolwork since nothing is imminently due
Monday: SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!! I'll be in the classroom all day, wearing my Irish clothing (aka clothes I bought during my summer in Ireland: they are neither traditional nor green but I will personally get the point!) and playing my tinwhistle for the kids (they ALWAYS play their cards right!)

I'm happy to say I have nothing to dread at this point in my life -- ok except a little dread associated with the rain outside. It can't all be bliss I guess.

2008-03-12T11:23:00.001-04:00

Hutchison Island, FL

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike. ~ John Muir

Not-so-great news

2008-03-10T10:19:00.002-04:00

Alas, things are not looking good for me on the house. Mostly, without going into the stupid details, it has to do with bank bureaucracy bull. Not my bank of course, but theirs. Since this house is almost in foreclosure, the bank has a big part in deciding what they will sell it for. Well, the bank did their "estimated value" and came up with a number that was $65,000 more than the sellers had LISTED it for!!! You expect uneducated sellers to ignore the market and list their homes too high, only to sit on them for a year with no bites. But in this case, it's the opposite. The sellers are the realistic ones and the bank is still living in the Dark Ages of 2005.

So anyway, we know what they've assessed it at, but they haven't come back to the table with a counteroffer. So it's not over. But let me say this: I put in an offer well below what the sellers were asking for it. I will go up to their original number and not a penny over. If the bank doesn't take it, I'll be disappointed, but they'll be the ones to ultimately regret it. Because the house will not sell higher than that, and they'll have to pay the $50,000 in costs to go through with a foreclosure. They'll end up giving it away eventually and losing much more money than is at stake right now.

Please still keep your fingers crossed for me because it's not over and I really do want this house. If I don't buy by June 30, I am going to have to sign a new lease and I'll have to wait ANOTHER year to buy! Who knows what the market will look like then...

SCORE!!!!

2008-03-07T12:12:00.002-05:00

Wow, I don't see how my lesson could have gone much better this morning. Well, ok, *I* see how it could have, but the important thing is my supervisor doesn't.

The lesson -- which if I never said, was on rhyming -- went really well and after about 3 minutes my nerves were gone and everything felt so natural and I just had a really good time. The kids did GREAT. After reading the Shel Silverstein poem "Spaghetti" and identifying the rhymes, we went through with my plan to sing through all 18 personalized verses of "Down by the Bay" that each student wrote. They wrote verses and drew pictures on Tuesday, so today I had each student come up when I showed their picture and we did indeed sing 18 VERSES of Down by the Bay!!! I was mostly nervous about the students getting fidgety, but it didn't last as long as I thought it would and they were overall pretty durn good for kindergartners!

Now for the conference afterwards. Let's boil it down to this: we are scored 1-5 in about 30 different skills. 1 is the lowest, 2 isn't any better than one really, 3 is satisfactory and where we should be at during internships, 4 means you do this skill better than most first-year teachers, and 5 means you do this skill so well that you could teach others to do it.

When it came to communication with the students, my supervisor said in a very matter-of-fact tone, "We aren't supposed to give 5's but I did it anyway" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She continued by saying that I have an "innate ability" with this age group and that I was made to be a teacher.

Well this is where I started to cry. What a loser am I!?

She also gave me a handful of constructive criticisms which of course I am so grateful for. She helped me to expand on my Professional Development Plan (where we discuss our areas needing improvement, our strategy for improving them, and our deadline to complete them). She did insist that I remove "planning creative, concise, and engaging lessons" from the needs improvement list since she believes I've already mastered that (!!!!!!!). I am in such a joyous state of shock I cannot begin to explain.

So my overall score was a 4, which I couldn't be more happy with. And I can't wait to be back again on Wednesday :) My next "observed" lesson will actually be a video of my science lesson that I am already working hard on. Now it's time to focus on my assignments for my actual college classes that are coming due. A pre-service teacher's work is never done! :)

Thank you to Shelley for your support and your interest in my blog, and to all of the people I've spoken with on the phone and in person who have encouraged me this week and always!!

Much love guys,
Jamie

2008-03-05T13:47:00.001-05:00

While searching for a really good Shel Silverstein poem to open my rhyming lesson with, I came across this one, and I had to take a moment to acknowledge the genius of this man.

The Little Boy and the Old Man
by Shel Silverstein

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

An attempt at a short story

2008-03-04T20:46:00.002-05:00

Today I had the chance to be with my class all day and despite being exhausted with a headache at 3pm, I had a great time! I didn't even mind going into work for 3 hours afterward. :)

So a great story: first of all, let me set this up. My classroom is actually half of one giant room that is split into two classrooms by a concrete wall. The rooms are open to each other in the back of the room, for about 10 feet before the concrete wall starts. A classmate of mine is student teaching in that room, but we are rarely in the classrooms at the same time.

So today was very interesting. The boy with serious behavior problems decided to egg on my autistic student (let's call him Jacob), and the incident culminated in the two of them running through the school courtyard, in and out of the buildings, up and down the outdoor stairs, with no fewer than 5 adults, including my classroom teacher, chasing after them. I was staying with the rest of the class doing group reading. At one point, the teacher from the next room was trying to help catch the boys but then went back to her class.

At one point, Jacob, who was the lone one left to be caught, ran through the room, laughing maniacally. I seized the opportunity, leapt to my feet, and grabbed him. I carried him to that opening in the walls and yelled to the other teacher that I'd caught him.

That's when I saw a face at a desk in her room, a face I knew that I knew from somewhere. It turns out that not only was my fellow classmate in the middle of her first observed lesson, but that was MY supervisor (from our college) as well, sitting there watching this entire incident unfold!!!

I definitely didn't do anything wrong, and everyone was glad that I had caught Jacob (he was obviously creating a disturbance to the entire school and was posing a danger to himself), but that supervisor was giving me a bit of a death stare! So Friday should be interesting.

Worst of all, I hate that I interrupted my classmate's lesson. I felt less bad when her entire class started acting up -- I mean, I still felt bad for HER, but all my guilt floated right out the window :)

The rest of the day was GREAT -- we got Jacob back in less than an hour after his mom came to calm him down (the other student, whose mom is, sadly, the entire problem and wouldn't come to check on him, stayed with the principal for the rest of the day). We did a GREAT lesson in which I got to sing some songs while working on rhyming, and the lesson went so well that my teacher suggested we do a follow-up lesson for my observed lesson on Friday. It will be a language arts lesson on rhyming, but it will incorporate both music and art! I am so excited.

I am also finally developing ideas for my science lesson coming up at the end of this month. Now that I'm really starting to know my class and their learning styles, I'm at last able to translate the difficult concepts from the topics list into kindergarten lessons. My lesson will be on characteristics of living things, and I ordered my first BIG BOOK! This is one of those giant books that you put on an easel and read to the student as they look at the pictures and read along. I've really gone above and beyond monetarily but I see this as an investment, because it's something I can use for years. Can't wait to get it!!

So much for a short babble. :p Thanks for reading!

The good life

2008-03-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

I find it hilarious that you guys see me as "having a life". Here is my life:

Monday: Wake up, shower, walk dogs, work 9-4:30, school 5:30-9:40, bed.
Tuesday: Wake up, shower, walk dogs, work 9-5, school 5:30-8:15, American Idol, bed.
Wednesday: Wake up, shower, walk dogs, teach 8:30-11, work 11-6:30, NIGHT OFF! = make dinner, walk dogs, early bed.
Thursday: Wake up, shower, walk dogs,
Thursday: Wake upm shower, walk dogs, work 9-4:30, school 5:30-8:15, LOST, bed.
Friday: Wake up, shower, pack for parents' house, walk dogs, teach 8:30-11, work 11-6:30, pick up dogs, sleepover at parents' house.
Saturday: Wake up, walk dogs, do homework, nap, eat late lunch, babysit, bed.
Sunday: Wake up, shower, walk dogs, church, homework, go to dog park, dinner, bed.

If having a life means not having a single free second, yes indeed I really really have a life! But I like to think of having a life as making enough to survive on and still having time for the things you love. Well, I love teaching but I only get to do it 5 hours a week. I love my dogs and I don't get nearly as much time with them. I love eating out but I don't have the money. I love my friends but so many are so far away.

I am kind of making a point, but I am certainly trying not to complain, even though it does sound like it a lot! Because I KNOW this is a means to an end.

During orientation for this school program, no one underestimated how crazy we will go. In fact, someone said that one student found herself hiding under her bed. I have to say that considering how bad I COULD be feeling, I'm doing pretty good!

Change of heart

2008-03-03T10:59:00.003-05:00

Ok so now, instead of feeling depressed, I feel serious pressure to update for both of you reading!! :)

Just kidding, but thank you guys for reading and remembering me! I am also a slightly obsessive blog checker, so to feel like mine is being skipped over even by the obsessed ones -- how boring I felt!

So I have been asked to give an update on the house, but I'm going to have to disappoint! I did put an offer in, the sellers accepted, which means only that we are in contract. We have been waiting almost 4 weeks now for the sellers' bank to either accept the offer or make a counteroffer. Usually when you put an offer in on a house, the seller has 24 hours to respond. Well, in this case, the seller had 24 hours to respond, and their bank has 45 businees days! That's 2 months!!!

So even though I try to put the house in the back of my mind, I really do picture myself in it EVERY day. I am so ready for this change: new house (my very OWN), new neighborhood (ok I lived here a year ago but only for a few short months and I loved it!), no awful landlords to deal with, no security deposit, no more throwing my money in the trash every month, living 5 blocks from the school I want to teach at!!! A precious little yard for the girls... it's almost too good to be true. You are guaranteed an update the second I hear something.

I am so excited this week for two reasons! First, it is my Spring Break at my college, which means I have all my weeknights free to spend with the girls and to work on all these long-term projects that I haven't had time for. Secondly, I get to spend the ENTIRE day tomorrow in my classroom! So far I have really only been there in the mornings, then I come to work at 11. Well I am coming into work tomorrow at 3 so I will be with the class from 8:30 until the end of their day at 2:30. So exciting!

Now for the terrifying part of my week: Friday at 9am, I have my first lesson being observed by my supervisor. This date really snuck up on me. I haven't written that lesson yet -- I don't even know what it is going to be on! But hopefully my teacher and I will spend a lot of time going over this tomorrow. Please pray realllllly hard for me at 9am on Friday!

A confession

2008-02-29T17:05:00.003-05:00

Ok I admit that the reason I've stopped updating is because I can tell how many people are viewing this blog and even though I'm writing it for me, it still depresses me to know that despite advertising my blog to my wonderful friends who I never get to talk to anymore so that they can stay on top of WHY I never get to talk to them anymore, no one is really that fascinated by my day-to-day.

I'm deciding at this moment to get over that. So here's to me: you're awesome, Jamie. You're working really hard and it shows. Keep up the good work. It will pay off in the end; and yes, this eternal road of insane busy-ness will indeed end: and there, you'll be a teacher, which is what you've always wanted and have always known would be.

Other than curling up in my bed with Fish and the pups to watch LOST on Thursdays, student teaching is the absolute highlight of my weeks. I always count the hours till I'm there doing it, and I always wish those same hours to slow down while I'm there. The children and just the whole school atmosphere infuse me with a giddiness that I miss so much when I'm away.

I think Heaven for me would be defined as having Gabby and my mom and my class all in my own classroom.

Umm, excuse me, Jamie, but did I tell you that I got to be in the CLASS PICTURE today??? SCORE!

Recent pics of the girls

2008-02-17T13:17:00.002-05:00

My girls are so beautiful! Just wanted to share two very recent pictures of them :)

First Day of Kindergarten

2008-02-13T12:22:00.003-05:00

I LOVE IT!!

i had the best day in my first day with my kindergarten class. they are the sweetest, smartest, most precious things i've ever seen in my life. and the best thing is they love me right back!

i could say so much but let me just wrap it up by saying it took away all my fears of teaching and just made me that much more excited and ready to do this. it was very hard to leave there at 11 knowing i would have to leave them to come and sit behind a desk for 8 hours (yes folks i am so dedicated to the cause here at the SC that i am working until 7 tonight. ugh).

see highlights below:

the first student introduced to me, preston, hugged me immediately and then proceeded to tell the teacher that i came to his house when he was one. then during sharing time later in the morning, he said he was wrong, i came to his house when he was two. after doing the math and making sure i couldn't have babysat for him 3 years ago, i told the class i was in maryland when they were two. then preston said "i was in maryland then too!" luckily the teacher saved me from losing my mind trying to remember this adorable child by saying she had known his mom before he was born and he had always lived here. how cute, though? :)
another little boy, cody, is a total ham and he was just funny and sweet and well-behaved. so i sat next to him for the last reading activity for the day, when he leaned over and said to me "miss cook, you really are a cutie" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i almost cried i was trying so hard not to laugh as i said "thank you cody".
the girls all wanted to sit next to me and read books to me and play teacher with me during free time. they are all so awesome! two of them are esol students: one is from laos and speaks limited english, the other is from puerto rico and speaks no english! but they are both so eager to learn and be a part of the classroom. it is so inspiring!
one little boy william was having a hard time behaving. he was bordering out of control with his bad behavior. the asst. principal happened to stop by and she took him on a walk. she determined he hadn't eaten breakfast so she brought it to him. i sat with him while he ate and he was just so sweet. so i made it my mission to be his friend for the day (and i will as much as i can!) and i helped him with his spelling worksheet and sat with him on the reading rug. he had been kicking everyone earlier but now he stayed cuddled next to my arm and apparently only felt comfortable pulling my hair into a ponytail and holding it with his hand :)

i love the spirit of diversity that is thriving in that classroom. all of these children want to do well and despite their setbacks, they are just so happy to be there and they press on. i'm so glad i'm working towards a career that will be so rewarding and will allow me to learn something new everyday!

2008-02-12T10:58:00.000-05:00

"We invent nothing, truly. We borrow and recreate. We uncover and discover. All has been given. We have only to open our eyes and hearts, to become one with that which is." ~Henry Miller

For the sake of an update

2008-02-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

i wish i had more to say! i wish i could say that the bank came back and begged us to buy the house for a little less than we had offered (there's gotta be a weird bank reason this could happen!) and that i was moving in next week. i wish i could say that i finally got a much-needed raise and therefore was only doing pro bono babysitting henceforth. i wish it were true that the school i'm student-teaching at offered me a job at first glance, based solely on my cute face that only kindergarteners could love, so i didn't have to keep going to night classes. mostly i wish i could say that my visit to the orthopaedist's office this morning has resulted in answers and cures.

instead, i'm still not a homeowner. i'm still broke and babysitting. and i'm still spending all my otherwise-free nights in class.

oh, and the knee. i DID spend the morning at the doctor. and she still can't find anything wrong. she has the two worst combos for a doctor: she seems kind of like she doesn't know what she is doing AND she has a bad bedside manner. just my luck! anyway she finally ordered an MRI, only at the insistence of my fabulous mother. the doc sort of presented it as "there's nothing left to do......... i mean, unless you want an MRI". and it's like.... ummm... i'm still in pain after almost three months.... so how about we exhaust all efforts......idiot. so if they find nothing in the MRI, at least i will know that all options have been officially exhausted. my next options are a second opinion or physical therapy.

the doctor did say that since it's almost felt better a couple of times only to start hurting again, this might mean that since i'm favoring the knee, it's just weak from non-use and when it starts to feel better, it's not used to the weight i start to reapply to it. so my plan is, since there's obviously no severe injury to worsen, i'll just start trying to walk as normally on it as possible and hope that building strength makes it go away. i'm also going to attempt to wear only sneakers until it gets better. i never wear sneakers besides on the walks with the dogs, which i haven't done in over a month. so hopefully these changes will make a difference fo me.

Photo Survey

2008-02-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

*** I just noticed that if you hover over each picture, most of them tell you exactly what I searched for :)***

Love it Shea :)
1)Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket (http://www.photobucket.com/)
3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post. (click on the picture and copy the HTML code) Don't explain, it's funnier that way!

1. The age you will be on your next birthday

2. A place you’d like to travel

3. Your favorite place

4. Your favorite object

5. Your favorite food

6. Your favorite animal

7. Your favorite color

8. The town in which you were born

9. The town in which you live

10. The name of your pet

11. Your name

12. Your middle name

13. Your last name

(**How funny that it's two animes in a row)

14. A bad habit of yours

(**Hint: look at the reflection :))

15. Your first job

16. Current Car

17. Favorite sport

18. Favorite kind of music

19. Your crush

20. Favorite thing to do

one step closer

2008-02-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

sooo the sellers accepted my offer on the house! this isn't as great as it sounds -- all it means is that we're now officially in contract (which is good) and that it's now the bank's the next move to either accept the offer or make a counter-offer. the world is my oyster at this very moment!

my mom and i were talking today about the laws of attraction and how they apply at this very moment. basically i need to be completely visualizing myself in this house because i really feel like it's where i am meant to be. i have to erase (or at least bury) all doubt. i could really use anyone else's help with this so i am going to go ahead and post the link to the house listing. please picture me in this house, with my own furniture and, most importantly, a brand new paint job on EVERY interior wall!

http://www.realtor.com/realestate/tampa-fl-33604-1086240496/

in other news, my boss informed me that i need to buy some "sweater sets" for kindergarten. i hate it when she is so unfashionably right. so in order to offset the pain of having to spend money on sweater sets, i am going to treat myself to some new throw pillows for my bedroom.

thanks to some delightful serendipity, i have managed to find so many awesome antique pieces in my favorite colors: sage green and dusty blue. unfortunately, as a result, my room is very boring. i'm taking some advice from HGTV, which i watch at every cable-watching moment (thank god for late night babysitting duty). i want some pillows that mix the duller colors with some really bright ones. i also have this amazing amelie poster from japan. amelie is sitting in her bed: her walls are red, her bedspread is orange, and she has two small sage green pillows. i bought a plain wood frame from ikea and painted it sage green. you wouldn't believe how much it ties the huge red/orange poster in with the room, because the frame really brings out those two little pillows. so these new pillows on MY bed are going to have reds and oranges in them to complete the look.

i forgot!

2008-02-05T19:22:00.000-05:00

did i mention that the class where i will be student teaching is a KINDERGARTEN class?! so exciting :) i start next week!

step one and counting

2008-02-05T15:08:00.000-05:00

so... i put an offer in on the house today. you wouldn't believe how low it was. i'm not going to disclose any specifics until after i see what is going to happen, but i'll say that in this market, nothing is too ridiculous. i could have offered the asking price and they still could have rejected it. the reason is that this is a short sale. this is a new term in many markets since the real estate avalanche, so if you don't know what this is here is the long story short of a short sale (bwahaha):

the house is in pre-foreclosure. neither the sellers nor their lender want it to go to the f-land. the seller wants to save their credit and the lender wants to avoid any extra liability in a decreasingly poor market. so a short sale is a deal between the two of them: the seller gets as much as they can for the house, below the amount they owe, and pray that the lender takes pity and also accepts the offer, then just writes off the remaining debt. this is still not great for the seller's credit report but it's better than a foreclosure.

so firstly, the seller has to accept my offer. they probably will because they are so desperate to get the property off their hands. then the bank decides if they'll take it. this is where it's a crap shoot, and it's a 60-day long one at that. the bank could take up to TWO MONTHS to decide if they will take it or leave it. so this is a long wait, but please keep your fingers crossed for me. if each blog reader takes a portion of the 60 days to cross their fingers, the less painful it will be. i'll take days 1-5 and days 55-60. please volunteer for the time in between!

Please watch this, it is such an inspiration.

2008-02-04T11:58:00.000-05:00

Warning: If you're voting for Romney, this may not be your cuppa tea.

This is a video made by the Black Eyed Peas based on Obama's incredible speech given in New Hampshire. It is so beautiful and had me with goosebumps and in tears. Pass it on to anyone you know who is ready to change.

http://www.dipdive.com

home sweet home?

2008-02-02T17:49:00.001-05:00

what a successful day! i had so much fun running around looking at houses with dad and jessica, and spending quality girlfriend time -- how i've missed that! -- at got tea.

and what's the best part at the end of the day? i think we found THE house! please keep your fingers crossed over the next week/month/who knows as we go through the process of contracting.

attention non-gmailers!

2008-02-02T08:21:00.000-05:00

for those of you who have been held back from commenting by the faschist-style formatting, i found out how to open my blog up to "anonymous" posters. just make sure you sign your name :)

night #1 of my do-nothing weekend extravanganza went down without a hitch! i ordered a pizza, drank some wine, and ended it all with some key lime pie -- this is a huge deal because this is more food than i've eaten all week! the pups and i watched "stranger than fiction" and then i passed out nice and early. i'm headed to joffrey's for coffee before doing some morning cleaning. FASCINATING!!

2008-02-01T10:30:00.001-05:00

"those of you who are scattered, simplify your worrying lives. there is one righteousness; water the fruit trees, and don't water the thorns. ~rumi

work-free weekend!

2008-02-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

i'll stress about the lack of funds later -- this is the first weekend in months when i haven't had to babysit and/or work overtime! i'm looking forward to only fulfilling fun commitments.

tonight will be spent with the pups, a good movie, my big comfy couch, and a little wine. glorious.

tomorrow morning, my parents and my dearest new school friend will be going to seminole heights to look at, yet another, ridiculously cheap house. based on the location, lot size, and square footage of the house (not to mention it has been on and off the market for over a year), this foreclosure is likely to be what my agent calls "junk". but let's say it's not! if that happens to be true, it is the most adorable house i've ever seen. and seriously: riDICulously cheap. i'm not getting my hopes up.

the lovely day will be continued at Got Tea where jessica and i will hopefully get some schoolwork done and i will introduce her to the glory of bubble tea! can't wait.

saturday night is up for grabs but i'm thinking more relaxation only interrupted by a trip to marshall's or the yankee candle store (only to sniff not buy).

sunday i will go to church at 11, which i am very excited about because i've got the script for my kids all typed up and printed on bright orange paper. fun stuff!

sunday night is superbowl, but i'm hoping that doesn't mean cancellation of the session at four green fields! i am ready to play some music.

now all i have to do is grin and bear it until 5pm. no prob.

busted!

2008-01-31T18:01:00.001-05:00

someone in my class has been caught reading this blog during class!

you really care, jessica marie.

dang. bear with it.

2008-01-31T13:52:00.000-05:00

i am beginning -- or continuing -- to get frustrated with the whole babysitting thing. once i am in the house, with the kids, i'm so grateful for the opportunity to make money doing what i do, but the mothers are killin me up to that point!

i have one mother who has continuously underpaid me. for 6 months i left work early one day a week to pick her kids up from school, take them to my house, feed them, and then bring them BACK to their school to meet the mom. this was generally a 2-3 hour job. if she was 5 minutes early, she would only pay me for about half of that hour. if i was 5 minutes late picking them up from after school care (still arriving well before the program's pickup deadline) because i was in TRAFFIC, same thing with the pay. i really should start charging for the commute time, and god forbid anyone think to offer me gas money!

so all of this is nothing compared to what this same mom did almost every week: she insisted i take the kids to FAST FOOD instead of allowing me to make them something simple at my house. she refused to give them money in advance, but rather i would pay out of MY pocket and she would pay me back. firstly, i rarely have cash so i would have to put it on my debit card. secondly, she would never truly pay me back in full for it. example: she owes me $20 for babysitting and $7 for dinner, she gives me $25. one time, she didn't have change for a 10 so instead of going INTO the gas station where we had met up to get change, she says "i'll get you next week". i of course knew she wasn't going to remember the next week. so i emailed her the day before, and taking my opportunity to not get stiffed, i gave the amount: "please don't forget that extra $7". she had the NERVE to email me back and ask me how much she gave me last week and how i came up with $7!! i couldn't believe it.

so i of course am not doing that job this year because of school. well, she asks me to watch them on my one night off for a special meeting, last week. i agree to it. she cancels on me the day before and says she has to do it this week instead. this week, however, i was unavailable because of the orientation last night. i offer to do it tuesday night since my class was cancelled. she starts texting with me monday: things have changed and she will be with the kids instead of me picking them up at school. can i meet her by the STADIUM at 5:30?? mind you, i can't leave work earlier than 5 and the stadium is FAR from the kids' school. i tell her the best i could do is get there as quickly as possible, probably around 6. remember, i am driving way farther, not asking for gas money, and trying to bow to her whims. she responds with "that won't work. alright. i understand." (this implies i'm the one cancelling on her, doesn't it?) She concludes with "the kids will be disappointed, but maybe you'll babysit for them another time". maybe? MAYBE? is she freakin FIRING me?? unfortunately i will not be babysitting for them another time. never again.

the sad thing about this is that i really like the kids. you probably wonder where my backbone was during all of this wrongdoing. i get scared to speak up because the worst the parent can do is not use me as a sitter anymore. while it wouldn't be a problem financially since the majority of my issues are when they screw me on pay anyway, i just really miss the kids, especially when it ends a little negatively, making it inappropriate for me to check in on them from time to time. i love the fact that i still have relationships with some kids i babysat for when i was 14.

wow, the rant that originally made me write this post has been lost in that one! this one is not so bad: i commit to babysit for a particularly lovely family every other saturday. i arrange all babysitting around these dates. everyone wants me on saturday night, and it's my favorite night to babysit. people ask me ALL THE TIME to babysit on these people's night, and i have to turn them down. normally, it's not an issue because i am working a job for people i like, but lately, these regulars have been cancelling on me. for example, she just cancelled on me today for THIS saturday and the 16th. someone asked me about the 16th and i declined but i just emailed her to see if she still needs me -- she probably already has someone else. and how on earth am i going to find a job for this saturday?? i was counting on that money.

again i don't want to say anything because i don't want to lose the job. talk about a rock and a hard place. i try to view it as a blessing in disguise, as someone saying "take a night off, jamie". if anyone wants to take me out that night, please let me know :)

prayer works!

2008-01-31T09:27:00.000-05:00

it's apparently true!

i got placed in grades k-2 at an elementary school in NORTH st. pete, perfectly halfway between my house and my job. in fact, it's almost sitting directly under a highway exit, which makes it that much more accessible.

i'm not going to name the school since i need to start practicing teacher confidentiality, but let's just say the name would make twisted, perverted middle schoolers (aka all of them) snicker. luckily it's an elementary school and i'm hoping these kids aren't that damaged yet.

i found info on the school from a website called greatschools dot net, which must be a good sign. in standards, it looks like overall they are about at average for the state in meeting grade standards (which doesn't say much, this FL education sucks), but the minorities at the school seem to be well above the average which is a great sign. 68% of students receive free or reduced lunch isn't that crazy?

i can't wait to get in there and hopefully reinforce my confidence, because the night courses certainly aren't doing much.