From my journal: 12/16/2002

"Life takes its toll on romantics. I won't have any part of that."

FOUR DAYS.

WOOHOO!!!

I had my last observation EVER today and I rocked it!! I gave a lesson comparing and contrasting Lincoln and Kennedy with the group of girls that are much further below grade level. I had some big behavior problems (probably because there was a sub there today) that I didn't know totally how to deal with, but I wasn't afraid to get angry and threatening after several (5-6) "Quiet please, Jane"'s. And it worked! As my supervisor pointed out, it's hard to come into a class that already has behavior plans set up by another teacher and be able to immediately take over without knowing those rules, expectations, and consequences. So I may have done the best for what I was dealing with.

Anyway, I got great scores and I got my overall scores for the entire Practicum, which were really shockingly high. She said I'm ready. I can't believe it. I am ready.

Next comes this:

Then this:

And finally, a cross between this:

And this:

Sneaky!

This post features Kuzco, formerly Angus (also lovingly nicknamed Hamburger by my old roomie), one of my prized kittens. He is now my roommate's cat, but I would secretly love for her to abandon him when she moves out someday because he is the BEST. CAT. EVER. Ok, Fish is by default, but you only have to meet this kitten to understand how fabulous he is.

One thing he does that is so adorable but also drives me crazy is stealing my hair ties. I had bought a ton of hair ties that break too easily, so I saved them all for him. I would put one on my counter while I took a shower. He would come get it and continue to bat it around until it disappeared underneath the piano. Well they are now all gone and I think it will be hilarious when I move the piano someday and find at least 50 hair ties under there.

So now that he doesn't have any freebies, he always tries to steal the two I actually use! I am a freak about my hair ties: I always have two on my wrist and they are precious possessions of mine until they ultimately break and I pick new favorites. So I began hiding my hair ties in a little open box I have sitting on my counter. I keep my toothbrush and all other tooth accessories in this box so I would put the hair ties underneath all this stuff. Well it certainly didn't take the kitten long to find them under there. They were no longer safe here.

I have switched to keeping them in a little round box with a lid. This also sits on my counter and I keep my Q-Tips in it. Lo and behold, the cat is a genius. Observe:






The best part about the last photo is that he accidentally picked up a Q-Tip with the hair tie and it is dangling from his mouth too, but you can’t see it. That white box in the background is my aforementioned tooth-paraphernalia box.

Things I'm Grateful for (even though I'm sick) Today

My oh-so-green back door.

Fall weather so beautiful that the door stays open.

All day long.

Puppies sunning themselves in a DIY sandbox.

REAL honest-to-goodness oatmeal.

To warm my throat, belly, and heart.

"Ava update" and "Why I teach"

1) I took Ava to the vet yesterday afternoon because her eye was bleeding! I took Fish with us because he needed his yearly stuff anyway. My vet is my favorite in the world (after Abby Huggins, who is the vet dreams are made of, but abandoned us in Baltimore to move to Atlanta and I almost followed her there). ANYWAY, he said it looks like the eye is healing and the blood is just a new blood vessel trying to form. So she isn't blind, she is going to be fine, and the only BAD news is that a) I have to put antibiotic ointment ON HER EYE three times a day (I have major issues with touching eyes, etc.), and b) Fish gained a pound while on his diet/exercise regime. The vet said I should throw in the towel and just let him live a fat but happy life.

2) I walked into the classroom this morning to a wall of hugs and "Hi Miss Pancake"'s. The a little girl, Emily, said to me, "I'm going to call you Miss Sunshine because you're always happy." I thought, wow, if I come across as always happy, especially in the last 3 weeks, this must be absolutely the right place for me. Being with them is certainly the highlight of my week, and I'm glad it shows and that I have sweet little people to remind me of it.

"Time is clearly not our natural dimension. Thus it is that we are never really at home in time. Alternately, we find ourselves wishing to hasten the passage of time or to hold back the dawn. We can do neither, of course, but whereas the fish is at home in the water, we are clearly not at home in time--because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers to us that we are strangers here." ~ Neil A. Maxwell

Fare thee well.

Yesterday was a sad day. So I cleaned my entire house and yard while the roomie and her stinky pug are out of town. Totally therapeutic for me. I was listening to ITunes on shuffle, and as I was about to step in the shower I heard the faint traces of a favorite song in the background. It was amazing because I have loved this song since I first heard it eight years ago. The lyrics were so beautiful, but I never understood them. I tried to, even journaled about it, but could never quite get there. As I showered, the lyrics came flooding back to me in their entirety. I sang them, and it was so perfectly sad, or sadly perfect, how clearly I understand now. Like it was written for me, for now. And then I cried. Wept, in fact.

Fare Thee Well
Indigo Girls

Fare thee well my bright star
I watched your tail lights blaze into nothingness
But you were long gone before I ever got to you
Before you blazed past this address
And now I think of having loved and having lost
You'll never know what it's like to never love
And who can say what's better and my heart's become the cost
A mere token of a brighter jewel sent from above.

Fare thee well my bright star
The vanity of youth, the color of your eyes
And maybe if I'd fanned the blazing fire of your day-to-day
Or if I'd been older, I'd been wise
Too thick the heat of those long summer evenings
For a cool evening I began to yearn
But you could only feed upon the things which feed a fire
Waiting to see if I would burn.

Fare thee well my bright star
It was a brief, brilliant miracle dive
And that which I looked up to and I clung to for dear life
Had to burn itself up just to make itself alive
And I caught you then in your moment of glory
Your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage
With a memory so clear that it's as if you're still before me
My once in a lifetime star of an age.

Fare thee well my bright star
Last night the tongues of fire circled me around
And this strange season of pain will come to pass
When the healing hands of autumn cool me down.

Poor Baby Ava

I am sad to admit that this is the second post with this title. The poor thing is always in some sort of trouble that isn't really her fault! Last time, she had her leg torn open by a giant thorn while playing in her yard. This time, my roommate's dog is to blame. I didn't see it happen, but both my roomie and I are pretty sure Lilo did it because a) she is entirely too hyper and rough when playing with my much larger but socially acceptable dogs; and b) now, whenever Ava sees Lilo, her eyes flinch. I'm not even kidding.

In case my roommate reads this, my disclaimer is that I love the roomie very much! She is wonderful! But I may have referred to her dog as "Satan's Spawn In Pug Form" in a couple of emails. Oops!

SSIPF:


So basically, the pug scratched Ava's eye (with what? A tooth? A nail? No idea). She could hardly open it last night and it looked so gross when pried open -- super red, swollen, cloudy. This morning it was crusted shut and she wouldn't even leave my bed for her morning romp with the pups. But by the time I left, she was at least opening it again, so I think it will be fine without me rushing to the vet. There is one noticeable thing: where the cloudiness was, there is now a pronounced hole/dent in her eye. She can still see out of it, though, I'm pretty sure.

Sympathy Photos
Last night

This morning

Other photos for photos' sake
My beautiful ladies, Gabby and Ava

Ava being embarrassed by her nasty-eye (she put her head like this in 6 pictures in a row)
The boys -- note that the 7 month old Angus kitten (now named Kuzco) is catching up in size to Fat Fish.

My 3 bundles of fur/joy