While trying to come to terms with the wild emotions coursing through my veins this week -- I in fact may be able to call this the hardest week of my life -- I read my old blog (http://thelonelypeople.livejournal.com) and thought this post was worth reposting.
September 20, 2006
I Wax and Wane
I've been having the wildest stream of thoughts and feelings lately. I feel like I'm outwardly observing the interaction between my self and my environment. I'm realizing that while both affect eachother, they are completely independent from one another in fundamental ways. This realization has given me the freedom to accept myself as an unconventional being that will not be forced to fit nicely into anything. There are things I like fitting nicely into: compact cars, a pint of Guinness, someone's arms. Sometimes I don't like fitting, though, and I think I'm ok with that. Sometimes I'm not cozy, not comfortable, and it just adds perspective. Sometimes I cry out of fear or frustration, but at other times I throw my arms back and thank God for giving me a most complicated brain.